If you’re missing your nuts, things can be difficult.

The last several days have been one big bore for me.  No walks.  No sitting on the dock.  Nothing outside except bathroom duties.  It was all because of hurricane Isaac. Rain, wind, rain and more rain.  It even restricted my opportunity to blog…due to the weather the Geezer was camped at the computer keyboard, his rear serving the same purpose as a concrete barrier at the end of a road.  I couldn’t get around it.

Before the rain and winds descended on our southwest Florida house, the Geezer and Mrs. G ran around the property like a bunch of mice that had just been told a rumor that a cat was on the way.  I guess I could have gotten to the computer then, but I’d have felt guilty if I hadn’t stuck close to my humans to provide moral support.  The old boy and his wife did a credible job until it came to the most important part of all, putting up the shutters.  That furnished me a few chuckles and an example of human male mental inferiority to we females.

The attempt at erecting the shutters was a real Abbot and Costello comedy routine.  (For the very young, Abbot and Costello were a comedy team famous for their “Who’s on first” baseball gag.  Rent it if you haven’t seen it.)  Mrs. G kept asking when they were going to put up the shutters, but the Geezer said he wanted to postpone it for as long as possible, hoping that the storm would miss them all-together.  When it was absolutely, positively, impossible to postpone longer, the Geezer sorted out all the shutters by window location, laid them out on the ground so they could be lifted into position, moved the ladder from the garage to the starting point, AND went to get the hardware.  And went to get the hardware.  And went to get the hardware.  He couldn’t find it in the place HE KNEW he stored it.  The Geezer made several trips back to the same place, hoping it would magically appear, but the hardware fairy’s union was evidently on strike.  When Mrs. G asked what the hold up was, it pained the Geezer to confess, “The nuts and bolts aren’t where I put them.”  He did what any human male in such a position would do, he passed the buck. “Where did you move them to?”  Mrs. G snorted, rolled her eyes and said, “Come on, let’s start looking where they’re not supposed to be.”

Since they’d moved lawn chairs, tables, lanterns, hose racks, garbage cans, etc., etc., etc., inside every storage area available, they had to remove them to do a thorough search.  After four hours of lifting, moving, fuming and not finding, Mrs. G. suggested, “We’re not going to locate them in time.  We’d best go buy some more.”  After doing a nut and bolt count, the Geezer headed out to the local hardware store.  When he tried to purchase what he needed, the clerk looked apologetic, but she said, “Gee, I’m sorry, we sold out two days ago.”  The folks at the next five stores, all large chains, were less kind.  He got the same treatment “Arnold” got in Jingle All The Way when he was looking for a special toy for his son’s Christmas present.  (Again, rent the movie)  There were more snickers and snide comments than he could take.  After the final visit, the Geezer announced to Mr’s G and me, “Everyone’s sold out.  We’ll just have to hope it doesn’t get too bad.” An hour later the TV announced the storm was not coming close enough to do damage to unshuttered windows.  That proved one of the Geezer’s favorite sayings, “I’d rather be lucky than good.”

Mrs. G was kind and suggested that as soon as the storm passed that the Geezer should buy more hardware…when the stores restocked…and before the next storm struck.  She could have done some nose rubbing, but chose not to.  Sorry, I’d have had to do a little if I had been in her place.  Of course, we females would never make such a hardware error.  We ladies are always careful we know where the nuts are.

http://www.dlhavlin.com