Tags: Books, Congress, dogs, Humor, life, Media, Politics, publishing, Reading, Writing
The Geezer and I were watching TV this morning. As usual, the Geezer was tuned to the news in the off chance that someone in government…or in major corporations… or even within the media, did something to give us a little faith things would be alright.
The first three items covered were:
- High-ranking bank officials were reengaging in the same lending practices (making housing loans to those who couldn’t afford it) that destroyed the country’s economy. You know, those folks that are “too big to fail.” Humans don’t seem to understand that when you reward bad behavior with a bailout or something similar it encourages more of the same. Every mommy dog I know has better sense than to let her pups get away with manure like that.
- Those paragons of virtue, Congress and the President, quietly gutted the insider trader law that was passed a year ago (before the election). You know, the one that kept them from benefiting from having government information that would effect future fortunes of a stock. Remember, the one our President said, “Was overdue” and that, “Congress should be playing by the same rules as any other citizen.” Well, we have bipartisanship at last – Both parties passed and the President signed the bill that effectively repealed the law. They sneaked it through quietly, notice that?
- The Geezer changed channels trying to lessen his depression. A media type was explaining why it was fine to allow government officials to eavesdrop on innocent private citizens email without the protection the constitution provides, while it wasn’t okay for law enforcement to continue to question a guilty terrorist to protect the rest of us. And they say dogs are dumb. We are consistent…we always bark at the postman.
The Geezer sadly shook his head, turned off the TV, and turned on the stereo. He mumbled, “I’d say the country is going to the dogs, but I know they’d do a better job running it than the idiots of BOTH parties who run it today.” I agree him…that’s true.
I remembered a bit of wisdom from one of the Geezer’s own books and I repeated it to him.
“It’s no coincidence that big-shot and big-shit are almost spelled the same.”
Tags: animal tales, Books, Congress, dogs, Entertainment, Fox & Friends, Fox News, funny stories, Humor, Politics, publishing, Reading, Writing
One of my dog buddies from our street asked, “How can you put up with that old guy, Sandy?”
I looked at Barbie the neighborhood cocker spaniel and head gossip. I said, “The Geezer? He’s a nice guy. Why would you ask something like that?” My human and Barbie’s were discussing mosquitoes and other irrelevant human subjects while we patiently waited for them to resume our walks.
Barbie got as close to me as she could and whispered in Doganese, “I’ve heard he’s a cannibal!”
I yelped, “What!! Where did you hear that?”
The Geezer Gator bent over to see if I was okay. “You alright girl?” he asked. He doesn’t understand a word of Doganese, though I’ve diligently instructed him in its intricacies. Of course, at times that’s an advantage. This was one of them. I licked a paw and said, “Just a sand-spur, Geezer.” He accepted my excuse and resumed his chat with Barbie’s lady.
I motioned to Barbie and we moved away as far as our leashes would allow. The Geezer is like practically all humans, their comprehension of languages other than those spoken by their species, is zero. Still, the old boy is perceptive and he might have figured out what we were talking about.
I switched back to Doganese as I asked Barbie, “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about. You live in that house.” Barbie looked at the Geezer with disdain.
I said, “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Just like most of her breed Barbie was running her mouth, half-cocked.
”Oh. Oh. I ask you, were his grandchildren here last week? His ‘grands’ as he calls them? Huh? Huh?” Barbie was practically panting.
“Yes,” I said.
“And, and, are they here now? Huh? Huh?”
“And, when and where was the last place you saw them? Huh? Huh?” Barbie couldn’t contain her excitement, drooling at what she supposed was juicy gossip.
I thought for a few seconds, replaying the kids visit. “Last Saturday, in the kitchen, before they left to go home,” I answered.
“I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!” Barbie yammered. “You just thought they went home! He actually ate them!”
“Bull shit! How do you get from his ‘grands’ being in the kitchen to the Geezer eating them as the main course?” I shook my head in disbelief.
Barbie narrowed her eyes. “The Geezer confessed to Mrs. Zoomer. Manny, her chihuahua, told Scoop, the labrador retriever, who told Baseer, the afghan hound, who told Heinz, the… well, I’m not sure what he is, who told me in strictest confidence. I had to trade something to get that information.”
“What?” I asked.
“Sex,” Barbie whispered.
It was beginning to make sense. Barbie isn’t the swiftest fish in the canal. “What did Heinz tell you?”
“Heinz said, that Baseer said, that…”
I interrupted, “Skip that, just get to the point.”
Barbie lowered her voice and glanced nervously at the Geezer Gator as she spoke. “The Geezer told Mrs. Zoomer that he really enjoyed eating his Grands with sausage and milk gravy!”
I started laughing so hard I could hardly stand on all four’s. I said, “Barbie, you moron, Grands are a type of biscuit made by Pillsbury. Honey, you’ve been had! Or, let me rephrase–you’ve been screwed!” For she had. About that time, the Geezer and Barbie’s human, who the Geezer calls “The Fantastic Fanny,” broke up their conversation and we went our separate ways.
After we were out of hearing range, the Geezer asked, “What was that all about? You two were giving somebody a hard time. Who was the victim?”
“You. Let me explain.” I retold the story and we both got a good chuckle. I said to the Geezer, “Poor Barbie. Her ethics are non-existent. She’s either stupid or naive. It’s a good thing she owns a nice human. If she had to earn a living I don’t think there’s anything she could do.”
The Geezer rubbed his chin a few times then said, “Maybe there’s a couple positions she could hold.”
“What?” I asked. I couldn’t think of a thing.
“A member of the US House of Representatives or a US Senator.”
“I guess she might qualify for that.” I thought of the leadership in Washington. “Yes, she does. Anything else?”
“If she couldn’t handle one of those jobs, I can only think of one more– based on the last three who held the job, how about President?”
I laughed and nodded my agreement.
The Geezer sighed and added, “There’s only one problem, Sandy.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“After observing Clinton, Bush, and Obama, she’s probably over qualified.
Tags: animal tales, Books, Congress, conservative, dogs, economy, Fox & Friends, Fox News, Humor, liberal, Media, Politics, publishing, Reading, Writing
“Why do you do that?” I watched the Geezer Gator get his tide marker out for his monthly update. Each full moon he measures the level of the high tide from the top of the sea wall and records its height on a strip of wood. He’s done this since I’ve been here in our Southwest Florida home– that’s 2 1/2 years.
”It’s my version of a lie detector, Sandy.” The old boy looked at the stick and grunted. “I’ll set this out so I don’t miss marking it. Full moon is on the 7th. I forgot last month.”
“You okay? You haven’t fallen and bumped your head? Or developed malaria? Maybe we should take your temperature.” Once in a while I get concerned about the old boy’s mental state. I figure there must be rust on that brain of his. “How on earth can that serve as a lie detector?”
The Geezer Gator laughed. “I can understand your confusion. This started ‘BS.’ That’s ‘before Sandy.’ Five years ago when the flap about global warming was peaking, I decided to do a little survey for myself. I’ve owned this place on an ocean-connected canal for 29 years. I hadn’t noticed any difference in the water level, but unless you recorded the actual height would you really know? It’s pretty important since the information some folks have been putting out is that this property will be under water in a few years. I decided to find out for myself. Was the book “An Inconvenient Truth” fact, or just “A Politically Motivated Lie?”
“And the answer is?” I asked.
The Geezer shuffled through a stack of papers stored by the stick. “In the 63 observations I’ve made, the net increase is 3/16 inches. That’s in about five years. Actually, it’s gone down a couple times. Since the average high tide level is 29″ from the seawall top, and if I use the 5 year rate of increase it means the seawall top will be breached in 773 years. What do you think, Sandy?”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire!”
”That’s my deduction too, Sandy. But, lets remember there are a lot of factors that may change. And, while the increase is insignificant, it is an increase. Things could get worse. China and India are just really getting started on putting autos on the road. The global economy is developing new industrial capabilities and power requirements world wide.” He got his sly, ’my tongue is in my cheek,’ look. “And of course, there’s the continuing problem of animal life producing all those pollutants.”
“Sounds like none of that is going to change.”
“Let the liars, I mean politicians, have some time to dream up ways to make it appear like they’re working on the problems while at the same time strengthening their political power and padding the pockets of their friends and business partners.”
“That sounds pretty cynical to me, Geezer.” I have to keep the old boy in line. “Just how would they go about that?”
The old boy rubbed his mustache and looked into space hoping a friendly alien would beam down an answer. Amazingly one must have. He smiled and said, “Bicycle pedals, Windmills, and Beano.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “Geezer, what are you talking about? How do those three do anything to solve the problems of more cars in the emerging economies, the need for more power, gases in the atmosphere? For example, China and India already have huge numbers of bicycles.”
“Did I say bicycles? I didn’t say bicycles. It’s pedals, pedals, pedals. In fact, the politicians will tell you that pedals solve the unemployment problem as well. We’ll hook up those pedals to electrical generators, have the unemployed turn them in shifts, convert all cars to electric, and have GE make the conversion kits.”
I enjoy a spoof as much as the next canine. I played along, “What if there aren’t enough people unemployed?”
“No problem. The government will simply decree that ALL people must spend two hours, or what ever it takes, on the power tread mills. Freedom is no longer an issue, government can do anything, like set salaries, cancel debts, bankrupt businesses, make value judgements of a persons mental judgments based on race and gender. Why not tell us we have to do our part for the collective?”
No sense reasoning with the Geezer when he gets those hypotheticals rolling. He always seems to come up with another tale. I decided to move on. “The windmills are for generating power, right?”
“Yep. GE will have a monopoly on that, too. So that fits. Might be able to use some of the unemployed to blow on the blades. The government is creating more of those folks in the auto industry by producing more cars in China. They could set up a couple windmills in the studios of MSNBC, CBS, CNN, ABC, FOX, and NBC so that something usable comes out of those blow hards.”
“I’ll drink to that!” I had to agree. I cautiously asked, “Butttt..What about the Beano? Explain that.”
”Sure, Sandy. We can get the government to hire Haliburton to clandestinely put Beano in all foods for humans and all domestic animals, world wide. Think of the impact. Less methane to attack the Ozone layer. You can eat leftovers without fumigating the house for roaches. Cows won’t poot in pastures decreasing the mating urges of bull frogs and crickets thereby eliminating those surplus populations. I won’t ever have to worry about cutting a fart in a crowded elevator, having to look at the guy next to me like he did it, while waving my hand in front of my nose and saying, “Some People.”
I shook my head and said, “Geezer, really.”
He laughed. “Okay Sandy, I take it all back except for one thing.”
My paw covered my squinted eyes because I had to ask. “And…what’s that?”
“Politicians are liars.”
You can’t argue with a universal truth.
October 8 – Where’s the bailout today? Striking back at those that screwed us. A list of those who voted for the bailout.October 9, 2008 at 2:19 pm | Posted in Current events, economy, Elections, Media, News, Politics, TV | 4 Comments
Tags: Congress, conservative, Democrat, economy, Elections, Fox News, liberal, News, Politics, Republican
So how are things for you today? A whole lot better? Has that 700 billion dollars of Wall Street Welfare that had to be passed immediately by our slime bag congress, solved the problems? Remember, Fox and the other networks said the world would perish tomorrow, has it? Has the Market stopped tanking? Have you seen the effort made by the networks to justify their propaganda effort to support the bailout for their Wall Street friends? Have you noticed that Paulson appointed a Goldman Sachs henchman to be the czar for the distribution of the spoils? How about the $400,000 celebration party held by one group of execs (AIG) after they got their bailout? How about the fact the same group was then given ANOTHER $30 billion loan after this? Had enough yet?
What we can do is vote out the manure that voted for the bill to restore wealth to the very idiots that caused this problem for us. No matter what your political philosophy a vote against these folks is a vote to insure you can maintain your democratic rights to practice being a liberal or a conservative or a centrist. The House and Senate members who supported this gift for their power broker friends obviously don’t care about the will of their constituents and justify their vote by saying that, “I had to do it to save the economy because the people don’t know enough to understand the problem.” Oh yeah? We understand the problem, its the large number of lice in congress. And the bottom feeders and traitors in the media that are their allies.
Here’s a list of things we can do.
1) Find out if your Representative or Senator voted FOR the bailout and VOTE AGAINST them in November! There is a list of all the thieves at the end of this post. If they’re unopposed, write in “Mickey Mouse,” as a protest.
2) Call your senator, if he voted for the bailout, and ask… what is required to recall a sitting senator– a constitutional amendment? How do we get started getting this done? These SOBs feel because they have 6 year terms they have a license to steal. They’ll either get the message or we’ll have a way to get rid of them.
3) Equally important is to support those honest and principled congress members that voted against the bill. Give their office a brief call. It’s important to let them know we appreciate their statesmanship. They keep track of such things.
4) Email both presidential candidates and tell them how despicable you think their lack of courage was for failing to oppose the bailout.
5) Contact your representative and ask her/him to do what should have been done when the original bill was up — pass rules as to how the bailout gift is distributed, including: a mechanism to force the funds to be released into the credit market directly, that the current czar appointee (part of the problem industry) be immediately removed and someone like Buffet or Romney be put in place, remove Paulson from any future involvement, and be sure that no one gets big comp packages and paid vacations like AIG. (Send those folks to jail)
6) Let people like FOX News know your anger with the congress extends to them as well. Deluge their email sites with scalding remarks. Don’t support their new projects like their new business channel, the books (probably ghost written) they sell through name recognition of their personalities, contact cable and dish companies about dropping them, and contact their advertisers to protest. TUNE OUT FOX PROGRAMS FOR ONE WEEK STARTING 10/12 to show them our rejection of dishonest journalism.
7) PASS THIS INFO TO EVERYONE YOU CAN. To make it easy, copy this address and send it on to friends and associates. SandySays1.wordpress.com
Here is the list of those voting for and against the bailout.
VOTING FOR THE BILL. These are the folks to vote out.
Murkowski AK, Stevens AK, Pryor AR, Lincoln AR, Kyl AZ, MCCAIN AZ, Boxer CA, Feinstein CA, Salazar CO, Leiberman CT, DODD CT, Carper DE, BIDEN CT, Martinez FL, Isakson GA, Chambliss GA, Akaka HI, Inouye HI, Harkin IA, Grassley IA, Craig ID, OBAMA IL, Durbin IL, Bayh IN, Lugar IN, McConnell KY, Kerry MA, Cardin MD, Mikulski MD, Collins ME, Snowe ME, Levin MI, Klobuchar MN, Coleman MN, McCaskill MO, Bond MO, Baucus MT, Burr NC, Conrad ND, Nelson NE, Hagel NE, Sununu NH, Gregg NH, Menendez NJ, Lautenberg NJ, Bingaman NM, Domenici NM, Ensign NV, Reid NV, Clinton NY, Schumer NY, Brown OH, Voinovich OH, Coburn OK, Smith OR, Wyden OR, Casey PA, Specter PA, Whitehouse RI, Reed RI, Graham SC, Thune SD, Corker TN, Alexander TN, Cornyn TX, Hutchison TX, Bennett, UT, Hatch UT, Webb VA, Warner VA, Sanders VT, Leahy VT, Murray WA, Kohl WI, Rockefeller WV, Byrd WV,
THOSE SENATORS WHO VOTED AGAINST THE BAILOUT - THE GOOD GUYS!!!!
Sessions AL, Shelby AL, Allard CO, Nelson FL, Crapo ID, Roberts KS, Brownback KS, Bunning KY, Vitter LA, Landieu LA, Stabenow MI, Wicker MS, Cochran MS, Tester MT, Dole NC, Dorgan ND, Inhofe OK, Wyden OR, DeMint SC, Johnson SD, Sanders VT, Cantwell WA, Feingold WI, Barrasso WY, Enzi WY.
Those House members voting for the bailout. VOTE THESE PEOPLE OUT!!!
Johnson, E. B.
Lungren, Daniel E.
These are the heroes that voted against the bailout — send them your thanks !!!!!
Sánchez, Linda T.
The house results are courtesy of williamssoapbox.wordpress.com If you want to find out who your local rep is, check your phone book or one of my previous posts that give state and district. Its easy to find out who they are.