I get to go!



DL speaking at a college. He'll be at Daytona State this Wednesday.

DL speaking at a college. He’ll be at Daytona State this Wednesday.

I get to go! My human will be speaking to students and faculty from Daytona State and Bethune-Cookman this Wednesday and I get to go. Well …….. I sort of get to go. I get to make the trip, but not inside to participate in the lecture. Human universities are a little slow in recognizing my degree in Canineology. I’ll be spending time with my niece Remi: I’ll have pictures.

The Geezer, DL Havlin as you humans know him, is going to be talking about his background in writing and related items to give those attending information on what an author does and why he does it.

The afternoon begins at one with keynote speaker, Mike Pyle kicking-off the program. DL is scheduled for the second “breakout” session at around 2:45. Daytona State is near the speedway and easy to locate. The program is open to the public. Just use MapQuest or your auto’s GPS feature and show up!

I’ll be on the road again. Since I got so much positive feedback about the picture of the Geezer driving and me instructing him, I’ll republish the photo. Your comments that I was far better looking than the Geezer, were appreciated, but not unexpected. I am beautiful … but modesty prevents me from repeating that more than once. Poor Geezer … he was at the end of the looks line.


I hear Willie singing, "On the road again"

I hear Willie singing, “On the road again”


PS – DL said to tell you all that “Maledicus,” a horror story is released! The novel by friend author and professor Charles French is available from Amazon … NOW!


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The most popular place to shop … The Two Sizes Too Small Mall


a shopper at the Two Sizes Too Small Mall

a shopper at the Two Sizes Too Small Mall


I’ve noticed more and more people are going to one place to buy their clothes. It has to be the “Two Sizes Too Small Mall.” My humans take me with them everywhere they can, so I can attest to the growing popularity of this shopping Mecca. More and more people I observe while sitting in the car, walking down the street, or curled up under the table at one of Geezer’s book signings are packed into clothes that would make sardines sweat.

I assume humans pinch their body into what amounts to a sausage casing because it’s one of those fads humans are fond of pursuing. Fads! One more reason to be thankful I’m canine! Why would these folks reveal secrets better kept cloaked, if it wasn’t for some misguided fashion whim? Most men would like others to think they have abs, not flabs. Isn’t the hour-glass the vision most women would like others to believe lies under their garments? Clothes purchased at the Two Sizes Two Small Mall give many ladies the appearance of a stack of tires in a used auto parts store.

Maybe this fad is a guilt trip on which humans are embarked. They seem unable to speak the truth. Is this their way of being truthful without having to verbalize it? They display what’s there whether it should be or not. Maybe clothes bought at “Two Sizes Too Small Mall” are a form of truth serum. It’s like them saying, “This is what I got.” Unfortunately, more often than not, what they got is one hell of a lot.

Not all the men and women who buy their clothes at that mall look bad; in fact some look just fine. This isn’t just my opinion. I can tell from the straining eyes, the snapping sound of necks turning, and dripping saliva that I observe as human members of the opposite sex saunter by each other. I guess many of them don’t really mind being objectified after-all.

I asked my human why the fad was so popular. He answered, “Sandy, it’s not a fad. Many of these people suffer from fatassia disease.” I didn’t know what fatassia meant, I asked, and he explained. “It’s pronounced fat-ass-ia.” I asked why the thin ones and humans with good shapes wore clothes from the Two Sizes Two Small Mall. He grinned and replied, “All humans are marketing experts. They’re advertising.” I told you humans can’t tell the truth.

Humans! I glad my coat fits fine all the time.


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Octoberfest – some canine observations


The Geezer with the smiling fraulein from the Octoberfest.

The Geezer with a beautiful, smiling Fräulein from the Octoberfest.

I always enjoy going along on the Geezer’s book adventures. Last weekend I had the opportunity. He attended an “Octoberfest” in Sarasota, Florida that was a number of things. First, it was a thoroughly enjoyable event. Its organizers are an enlightened crew that understand that canine presence adds to any festivity. I became a major point of interest in the Geezer’s booth; a celebrity in fact!

The Celebration was a bit of Munich transplanted to Florida’s west coast. The authentic garb many of the participants wore livened the festivities. German food and pastries added a yum factor and there was an abundance all types of beer to wash it down. The sounds of music was non-stop and had me looking for Julie Andrews and Christoper Plummer. The traditional folk songs made me try a four-legged polka from time-to-time. Beer steins were everywhere, smiles were on most everyone’s face, and tossing beer kegs was a big time game.

It was hot! I’m going to speak to the event organizer and see if some Bavarian temperatures can also be imported next year. Of course, the hot temperatures meant some patrons reduced the clothing wore to a minimum. In many cases, this was a good thing – least ways, the human males seemed to enjoy it. There were some individuals that would have been best served to have dressed themselves in fur like I do. Most of these wore fashions from the “Two Sizes Too Small Mall.” I’ll write a whole blog post about my visit to that shopping area.

Come next year this Octoberfest event is one to add to your list of “got to go to’s.”




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Fall has fell! … The Geezer’s on the road again.

I hear Willie singing, "On the road again"

I hear Willie singing, “On the road again”


Fall is in the air! It’s only 92 degrees today and the humidity is 78%. Well, that’s better than its been. It means the holidays are coming and, best of all, the election will be over! It’s also traveling season for us as the Geezer starts his appearance schedule after his hip replacement.

Dogfucius has some bits of wisdom for the upcoming season.

Advice to does. A horny deer and a horny dear both must be approached with great caution unless one wishes to be horned. Approach a horny deer from downwind for best success when hunting. Approach a horny dear from upwind for nostril relief. (Hunting these is not necessary.)

Do not discuss going to Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving with any of your turkey friends.

Buy stock in insane asylums. The election will be over soon and overcrowding will be a problem.

I suggest humans with white chimneys post the following sign on Christmas Eve: “Santa, this is not our outhouse.”

Men, do not argue with your spouse about who will be the back half of your Halloween costume if you’re going dressed as a horse. You are what you are.

Speaking of horse rumps – My human, the lovable old Geezer, will be signing books at the On Point Book Fair tomorrow. If you’re in the Tampa, Florida area, he’ll be at the Westshore Plaza 10AM until (ugh) 9PM. Look for the sign with DL Havlin printed on it and the Geezer wearing his black Stetson.


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I do … (A quiz — would you prefer to be a child again?)

"Do you ever wish you were a child again?"

“Do you ever wish you were a child again?”

There are days when I wish I could flip the calendar back to my care free youth. My worries were whether I got a comfortable spot to nurse at Momma’s dinner table, how long I should stay awake between naps, and if my brothers and sisters were told they were “the cutest puppy” more times than me. Ahhhhhh … Those were the days.

If you ever think you’d like to hop in a time machine and travel backwards, some of the following questions might help you decide.

Do you remember when there were no cell phones? No way to call for help if your car broke down versus no way for the boss to check on you or disturb your weekend. Which do you prefer?

Do you remember kick the can? Do you think that game was better for your kids than Pokemon?

Do you remember when fresh meat and vegetables were really fresh? Do you prefer picking veggies you raised in your organic garden to picking up preserved veggies in plastic wrap from a grocery counter?

Do you miss reading the morning newspaper or prefer watching TV news each AM?

Do you long for the day when “Clinton” was best known as a town in Tennessee and “Trump” was a term used when playing bridge?

You decide.



All points of view told here … now for a cat’s eye view.

"Confucius" Oreo!

“Confucius” Oreo!

All points of view should be heard! Unlike humans, we animals listen to all ideas.

With that in mind, this post features the feline point-of-view as expressed by my house mate, Oreo. My interview was a question and answer session. Some of his wisdom is expressed below.

Sandy Q. – What is your defense for those people who say cats are lazy?

Oreo A. – That’s completely unfounded. Our species just really enjoys doing nothing.

Sandy Q. – Do you believe that personality and attitude are impossible to divide?

Oreo A. – Ridiculous. My personality is who I am. My Attitude depends on many things: What food you put in my bowl, how many tummy rubs I get a day, if you have a broom in your hand, if you pet the dog more than me … I could go on.

Sandy Q. – Do you take responsibility for opinions you express?

Oreo A. – Absolutely. But … not for your lack of intelligence to understand them. Gee, maybe I should run for office.

Sandy Q. – How do you settle bitter arguments you have with others?

Oreo A. – Its a 4 step process. 1) I suggest a cooling off period. 2) I insist we stay silent and hold our breath for 20 minutes. 3) I cheat. 4) I call for a hearse.

Sandy Q. – Do you believe that we can read each others minds?

Oreo A. – No. If that were true I’d be slapped and punched much more often.

Sandy Q. – Are you in agreement that we carnivorous folks should change our eating habits because we kill living things?

Oreo A. – Hell no. Aren’t plants alive? Whats that leave? Rocks? Give me a break.

Sandy Q. – Do you doubt that humans are the mentally superior species on earth?

Oreo A. – Yes. Proof in one word answers. Bush. Clinton. Obama. Ryan. Pelosi. Romney. Want more?

Sandy Q. – Do you have a suggestion to create more world peace?

Oreo A. – Just as we animals are subject to … forced neutering. Less humans, more peace.


So speaketh the feline sage.

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21st Century Torture … Political Conventions


Enough already. I'm weary of politics. Won't somebody flush?

Enough already. I’m weary of politics. Won’t somebody flush?


Water Boarding? Child’s play. The Rack? A stretching experience. Iron Maiden? Pin cushion in a case. Glowing hot pokers? Localized sun tans. All these tortures pale when compared to being exposed to the political conventions my human has on the tube.

I’ve compiled some of my thoughts after listening to the verbal vomit for the last two weeks.

  1. I wonder if many of the commentators prefer not to think before speaking because they like to be surprised by what their tongue produces.
  2. Humans are great examples of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Homo sapiens must have evolved from lemmings – they’re dumb enough to follow their leaders off of cliffs.
  3. Many convention speakers have the attitude that, “I could explain things to you, but I doubt you’d understand since you’re not elite like me.”
  4. Watching the protesters outside the conventions it’s plain these folk’s weren’t born with that little thing inside human brain’s that keeps them from saying or doing something they shouldn’t.
  5. As a canine, I have developed my understanding for normal human behavior to an acceptable level. It’s my tolerance for idiots that must be improved.
  6. Listening to many speakers, protesters, and commentators at these events you have to wonder if they use toilet paper with printed instructions on every sheet.
  7. Hey protesters: When is “old enough to know better” supposed to kick in?
  8. I couldn’t help wondering if all the human mental asylum’s in the nation had be shut and their inhabitants shipped to Philly and Cleveland.
  9. Let me get this straight humans – You humans lecture us on how love is the universal answer then follow that with how much you hate and despise the other 50% in the country. I’ve seen two rival wolf packs fighting over a kill that have more understanding of the other group.
  10. These events verify the saying, “When you’re stupid, you don’t know you’re stupid – It’s only difficult for others!”

November can’t come quick enough.


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