July 31 – Somethings are just too horrible!


       Geezer Gator took me out walking early this morning.  The sun was just peeking over the palms when we hit the street.  He rushed me through my breakfast, so I wasn’t in a good mood.  His pace was faster than normal and he didn’t let me have time to smell the roses or whatever else was lying around.  I was really getting pissed.  When I stopped at a particularly interesting lump of smelly stuff, the Geezer twitched my leash.  
       I’d had it!  You’d think he owned me or something!  I sat down and refused to budge.  The Geezer looked at me apologetically, he knew he’d screwed up.
       “Come on, Sandy,” he begged.
       I totally ignored him.
       “Let’s go girl,” the old boy pleaded.
       I gave him my not in a thousand years look.
       “Sandy, don’t be stubborn, please.”  He gently pulled on the leash.  And, I promptly responded by laying down in the middle of the road.  It was a standoff.  I knew he wouldn’t attempt to carry me the three blocks we were away from home.  My 72 pounds insured that.  I could see the gears grinding in his mind.  A light dawned.
       The Geezer pointed and yelled, “Sandy there’s a rattlesnake crawling toward you!”       
        He must think I’m from New York or something.  I know there’s no rattlers in our neighborhood.
      “Oh my God, Sandy, there’s a huge cat stalking you!  No, it’s not a cat– it’s a lion!” 
       I Yawned.  That was a poor effort.
       The Geezer pointed toward the trees on the side of the road.  “Quick, Quick, Sandy, get up and run home!  The tyrannosaurus from Jurassic Park is coming to eat us!”
       This was getting boring.  I smirked at him.  Did he really think he could trick me that easily.  I could see the Geezer was gathering his faculties for one last attempt to make me move.
       “No!  No!  No!  It’s terrible.  Osama Obama and Mex McCain are riding up the street in a truck asking people to vote for them!”
       I reacted in total terror.  I got up and streaked for home yelping for help as I ran.  The thought of somethings are too horrible to contemplate even if they might be a lie.  Or is that liars?

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