Brrrr! I wanted to know what cold felt like. That’s proof I’m young and my naivete is showing. When the Geezer slipped into a coat before my 7:00 AM potty call, I scoffed. The scoff turned to shivers. Our thermometer said 38 degrees. That’s not cold for humans and canines used to living in a refrigerator, but for me that’s, brrrr!
One of those shivers came right as I made my (as Geezer calls it) “used coffee disposal break.” He laughed at me! I said, “Ahhh, Geezer, give a girl a break.”
“Hey, I saw your smirk when I put my coat on. Remember, I don’t have a golden fur coat for cold weather protection. So, who needs a break, you or me?”
When we got back inside, the Geezer grinned and said, “My guess is we can agree we’ll fore-go our trip to the dock this morning, right?”
“Either way is okay with me.” I decided I’d let him chicken out.
“If you want to go out, I can layer a couple shirts under my jacket.” The Geezer looked at me as he inched toward his bedroom and additional insulation. When it comes to tests of will, I don’t bluff easy. I got up on all fours and pranced toward the porch door. Much to my chagrin, the old boy smiled and disappeared into his room. After a few minutes he reemerged looking like a half-inflated balloon. It was evident he intended to brave the elements.
“Geezer, you look uncomfortable. I don’t have to go out. I’ll be fine staying inside. I don’t want to see you miserable.” I thought my weasel wording would work.
“No, I’ll be fine. With the additional shirts I have on, I’ll keep me as warm as fresh toast.” He picked up my leash from the table.
“What about from the waist down? Do you think you need another pair of socks? Those loafers don’t look very warm, think you should change them?” I laid back down on the floor and curled into a ball. Hint made.
“My jeans are plenty warm, the socks are wool, and the loafers are lined leather. Ready?” It wasn’t like the Geezer to volunteer for time on the rack or in the iron maiden. When I didn’t get up, he said, “You coming?”
I slowly struggled to a sitting position and hesitated. I needed time for my steel trap mind to spring into action. Suddenly – inspiration. “Geezer, I don’t think you should go down and sit on that cold concrete seawall. Your arthritis will act up. I’ll gladly forfeit this morning’s trip for you.” I was sure I had him.
“I’ll grab a blanket to sit on.”
“Geezer, the cold will seep right through that cloth from the concrete. Your hip joints might freeze.”
The Geezer thought about my warning. “Maybe your right. I’ll take one of the camping chairs to sit in.” He fingered the leash feeling for the clip.
Panic was setting in. I laid back down trying to buy time. I was thinking and talking…no…talking then thinking. “Ah…Ah…Ah, that’s not gonna be good. Ah…Ah, the wind.” I swallowed hard. “The wind blows. Ah, it’ll blow under the chair. Everything on you will stiffen up. We shouldn’t go out.”
“Hummm. Mrs. Gator will like that. But, you do have a point.” He nodded his head, a serious look on his face. “I’d better drape a blanket around me and the chair. That wind is cold and I know I don’t have a fur coat like yours.”
I contemplated leaving my nice warm spot on the rug and sitting on that frigid cement with icy winds whipping through my hair. The vision made me shudder and shake. I blurted out, “I don’t want to go down there, Geezer!”
He smiled. I could see he had something else in his mind, but was keeping it to himself. I fought the urge to ask, but eventually my curiosity won. I said, “What?” My tone was as sarcastic as I could make it.
He’d gotten his victory. The Geezer grinned and said, “You reminded me of an old melody just now, but with different words.”
“Dare I ask? Will you sing it for me?” I knew nothing on earth could keep him from rubbing it in.
The Geezer cleared his throat and crooned in his best waltz time, “It was Pro- cras-ti-na-tion, I know.”