It seems as though many of you folks who visit me have recipes for delicious meals, snacks, desserts, and even drinks you share on your blogs. Regretfully, I fear some of the things I consider delicacies wouldn’t appeal to the human palate. While my canine readers can appreciate the aroma and taste bud tingle from Raccoon ala Roadkill- sautéed in rain and engine-oil or Souffle Canus de Trashus, most humans lack the culinary capability to savor such fine dishes.
Since I don’t wish to be the dog that takes and never gives, I asked the Geezer to share one of his recipes with you. He’s a good cook.
He said, “Sure Sandy, what kind of dish did you have in mind?”
Leave it to the Geezer to come up with some mundane comment. I tried not to sound sarcastic, “Well, Geezer, something that tastes good to humans.”
He looked up in the air and stroked his mustache, a sure sign he was trying build up some steam pressure in that ancient boiler brain of his. “You want something different?” he asked.
Why would you want to tell people about something they already know? Really. But, he is human so I try to be understanding. “That would be good,” I said without the slightest smirk. I was proud of that.
“Let me think. You’ve shown me a lot of entrees and desserts on your friends blogs, how about a breakfast dish?”
The fact he would endeavor to think pleased me for humans do that so infrequently. “Good. The thinking and the breakfast part.” I find humans respond best if you state the obvious.
“I call these Eggs Geezer Gator. The recipe will serve two or three depending on their belt size. Here’s what you need. Six eggs, 1/4 cup of chopped sweet onion, 1/8 cup of chopped red bell pepper, 1/8 cup of chopped green bell pepper, a tablespoon of virgin olive oil, 1/2 teaspoon of oregano, 1/2 cup of grated cheddar cheese, 1/4 cup of milk, one stick of butter (or margarine), 1/4 cup of blue cheese dressing, 4 fresh, large and finely diced mushrooms, and 6 thin slices of ham. You need a skillet and a sauce pan. It helps to have a microwave.”
“Gosh Geezer that sounds like a lot off work.”
“It is, but its worth it. First you heat the ham slices in the skillet until they are very lightly browned. Just warm them really. Then put them some place to keep them warm – I use the microwave and zap them for a few seconds before I serve. You put the cooking oil, the onions, and the bell peppers into the skillet and let them simmer. Mix the six eggs–”
I challenged him there, “With or without the shells?”
He looked at me like I was stupid. “Without,” he answered. Hey, I’ve eaten them both ways.
“Getting back to where you interrupted. Mix the eggs, milk, oregano, and cheddar cheese in a bowl to prepare them for scrambling. Let them sit while you put a sauce pan on a burner using low to medium heat. Put the stick of butter in the pan and after its melted, toss the mushrooms in. Soon as the ‘shrooms’ have cooked a bit, add the blue cheese dressing and stir.
“Do you have to do it in that exact sequence?” I asked.
“Naw. You can do the sauce pan part early if you want. Let me finish this thing up. You pour the egg mixture into the skillet and stir in the peppers and onion. Cook them until they’re no longer soggy.”
“Soggy? Soggy! What in the hell kind of cooking instruction is that? Certainly you can do better, Geezer.”
He looked disgusted and perplexed, but came up with, “How’s golden and fluffy?”
“Yeh, that’s better.”
“Okay, Sandy, you’re ready to serve. Place two slices of ham on a plate and spoon the eggs over the ham. You put the mushroom sauce in a bowl with a ladle and folks pour it over the eggs. Tell them to add salt and pepper to taste. If you want to get fancy, garnish with a little parsley or something. I’m not into that.”
“Does the sauce really add that much?” I asked.
“Oh, YES!! That sauce is what sets it off. You could pour that on a turd and it would taste good!”
Personally, I’m not going to try that. That’s one of the tastes I lost after puppyhood.