June 21- The game of “Get It!”


     If there is one constant with humans, it’s their inconsistency.  They drive me crazy at times.  I’ll give you an example of what happened to me yesterday.
     When we went out for our daily walk, the Geezer took one of the yellow balls with which we play “Get It!”  It’s about three inches in diameter, has fuzz on the cover, and bounces wonderfully well.  The ball fits in my mouth perfectly; it’s not so small I have to be concerned with swallowing it, not so large I have to stretch my jaws uncomfortably wide to pick it up and carry it.  The ones we have are coated with enough of my canine slobber that I could sniff them out in a field of foot high grass, in a fog, at midnight, with no moon!
     “Get It!” is a simple game.  Since humans are part of it, naturally, it has to be.  The game is played in all sorts of venues.  In our yard, the street, even in the living room.  The human must be taught to do a minimum of three things.  1-  Stand or sit in one spot.  Most can do this without extensive canine oversight.  2-  Throw the ball.  This does require some loving canine patience.  Some humans throw horribly.  No aim.  No distance.  As in so many things, humans can be quite pathetic.  3-  The human shouts, “Get It!”  Of course, thats where the game derives its name.  Some humans are incapable of remembering that simple two-word phrase.  They reduce it to a single word such as, “Fetch!” or “Retrieve!”  But remember, we’re dealing with Homo sapiens here.  Stringing two words together strains some of that species mental facilities.
     My portion of the game is, by far, the most challenging.  I must bounce around in front of my human racing back and forth to motivate the old codger to make a good long throw.  Second, at the motion of his arm, I must anticipate where he will toss the yellow spheroid.  My muscles strain to explode.  At the release of the ball, I fire off like a rocket, trying to capture the elusive prize before it comes to rest.  In one supremely athletic movement, I snatch the ball, turn, and sprint back to my human and deliver the fluffy yellow bit of rubber to his hand, so he can repeat those simple three steps.
     Yesterday, we played the game in a field near the house.  As usual, my human tired long before I worked up a good sweat.  After a measly twenty throws, the Geezer said, “Damn Sandy, you’d do this all day!”  I replied in Doganese, “Does Dolly have big boobs?  Do politicians lie?  Sure I can!”  Either the old boy failed to translate or chose to ignore me for he stuck the ball in his pocket.  He offered me a dog biscuit to buy me off.  He said, “You sure do play the game well, Sandy!”  I know that, but humans are fond of pointing out something that everyone knows.  Simple concepts for a simple-minded species, I guess.  I admit it is nice to hear, anyway.  He ALWAYS does that……
     You say, “Where’s the inconsistency?”  Let me explain what happened that afternoon.  The Geezer and his Mrs. took me to a place I’d never been before.  It’s a place that human’s hone their Get It skills.  It’s a partly enclosed arena, with painted floors, and an obstacle in the form of a fish net strung from poles.  A human stands on either side of the net and uses a handicapping device to make the ball move back and forth over the net.  Evidently, during this Get It practice, they aren’t allowed to use their mouths or paws, sorry, hands, to retrieve the ball.  I heard the Geezer call the handicapping device a “racket.”  I’ve heard other humans on TV discuss rackets and I believe they’re illegal, but….
     One of the human’s in the arena was a friend of the Geezers and my curmudgeon and his Mrs. were shouting encouragement to their buddy as he slapped the ball around.  Several other canines were laying next to the folding chairs their humans were sitting in, all, I’m sure, were waiting for the real portion of the game to begin.  I kept my muscles tense and my eye on the ball waiting to be summoned.
    It was becoming boring when a ball was hit toward the Geezer’s friend.  The ball took a big bounce on the painted area.  It was obvious to me that the Geezer’s human friend wouldn’t get to it in time to slap the yellow ball.  Finally, Geezer yelled, “Get IT!!”  Of course, I did.
    Inconsistency!!!!!!

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7 thoughts on “June 21- The game of “Get It!”

  1. I applaud you for your consistency! You’ll just have to teach the old geezer to “get it” as well as you, and without the “racket”…tell him he must use his mouth! You’re sure to be the winner again, Sandy!

  2. Loved this post…too funny. We can see your point about inconsistency. Mumsy loved being inconsistent with one of those rackets before she got old. Hugs and nose kisses

  3. Hey Sandy! Good you acknowledge the humans practicing! I’m sure the Geezer will develop some new throwing skills! Maybe you can convince him to use the handicap device to throw the balls further for you!

    Fun Post as always!

  4. Hi sandy, Ruby is terribly jealous of your fetch game, she loves it but her miserable old Mum can’t be bothered half the time, and the other half, Tango steals it and keeps it for himself, you are lucky.

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