Bark less and Wag more…


Oreo prostrate from laughing

Oreo prostrate from laughing

It seems like forever since I’ve had my paws on the computer keyboard. You probably have already guessed the Geezer has been away and that precludes my access to “our” internet accounts.  Before he left he said, “Oh, I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back so quick you won’t even think about it.”  Of course, I knew those remarks were placating, not truthful.  In Doganese we classify that kind of speech under the category called, “Humanaucity Bullus Shittus.”

My buddy Oreo, eaves dropped as the Geezer and I discussed his prolonged absence.  When I asked him what took him so long to get back, about the only excuse he didn’t use was that I’d eaten his homework.  Oreo’s feline tail twitched. There were weather problems…rain, snow, hail, tornadoes, volcano eruptions, asteroid showers…and whether problems…he didn’t know whether to go to this or that event, or take this or that road, or stay at this or that hotel.  The cat rolled his eyes in disbelief.  The Geezer claimed he forgot several things and had to retrace his steps and repeat tasks.  I can believe that; he’d forget his ass if it weren’t so big and firmly attached.  My black and white friend rolled on his back, his belly heaving with repressed laughter.

After a series of apologies that fall under a similar Doganese sub-category “Humanaucity Bullus Insincereioso Shittus” Oreo and I were left alone to ponder whether the Geezer really believed we were that stupid.  Oreo looked skyward and purred, “If you’re going to lie you should at least try to be good at it.”

I was steamed.  I love the Geezer, but it infuriates me when he won’t just come out with the plain unvarnished truth.  “Damn it Oreo, I wish he’d just say… sorry. I screwed up…and let it go at that.”

“That’s just the human way.”  Oreo stretched his front legs out in front of him, pushing his rear high in the air at the same time.  He looked out the window. “Look, Sandy, the Night Herons are back building nests again this year.”  Oreo licked his chops, a feline reflex for he’d abandoned any form of hunting for a cushy inside-the-house life.

“Humans don’t seem to bother you much,” I said.

“The Geezer doesn’t.”  Oreo got a sly grin on his face.  The cat had seen some rough younger years before he came to live with us. “You have to rub a lot of legs before you find your prince.”  He looked very wise and provided some sage advice. “Sandy, when you’re warm, well taken care of and fed regularly…bark less and wag more.  You may quote me.”

"Confucius" Oreo!

“Confucius” Oreo!

I listen oh wise one.

I listen oh wise one.

###

visit the Geezer at

http://www.dlhavlin.com and http://www.dlhavlin.wordpress.com

*******

11 thoughts on “Bark less and Wag more…

  1. Words to live by! Bark less, wag more! Love it…but have always loved wise cats. 🙂 Sandy, so good to see you back again. Tell Geezer hello from me.

  2. Welcome back, Sandy. Your feline friend offers good advice indeed. And Oreo does look like our old kitty, Norman, except for one thing … Norman was white face with black mustachio.

  3. I missed you! Thanks, Sandy, for transmitting this feline wisdom from adorable Oreo. (You’re adorable, too!)
    Humans do hem and haw a lot, rather than come right out with the truth.

    I loved Oreo’s line about rubbing a lot of legs before a cat finds his prince.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s