If a human …

 

Don’t believe everything humans tell you!

 

Dogfucius says:

If a human tells you the moon is made of cheese, don’t argue, ask them to cut you a slice.

If a human tries to put stupid looking clothing on you, tell them, “No, not until I see you try it on first.”

If a human feeds you lots of table scraps including beans, broccoli, cauliflower, tacos, and radishes, get even with them by staying close and keeping your rear end pointed at them until your problem passes.

If a human tells you “this hurts me as much as you,” bite them and ask the same question.

If a human tells you you’re the smartest animal in the world, remember she or he is probably selling Brooklyn Bridges as a two for one special.

If a human politician promises you the canine right to vote, a chicken in every pot, sex with your favorite movie star, free phones, free medical care, free housing, 360 days on sunshine each year, and to execute all dog-catchers, remember she or he’s already promised everybody else something similar. (E.g. – Dog-catchers are promised all dogs will be executed) Quick! Bury them in the backyard before they do the same to you!

 

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