Water Boarding? Child’s play. The Rack? A stretching experience. Iron Maiden? Pin cushion in a case. Glowing hot pokers? Localized sun tans. All these tortures pale when compared to being exposed to the political conventions my human has on the tube.
I’ve compiled some of my thoughts after listening to the verbal vomit for the last two weeks.
- I wonder if many of the commentators prefer not to think before speaking because they like to be surprised by what their tongue produces.
- Humans are great examples of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Homo sapiens must have evolved from lemmings – they’re dumb enough to follow their leaders off of cliffs.
- Many convention speakers have the attitude that, “I could explain things to you, but I doubt you’d understand since you’re not elite like me.”
- Watching the protesters outside the conventions it’s plain these folk’s weren’t born with that little thing inside human brain’s that keeps them from saying or doing something they shouldn’t.
- As a canine, I have developed my understanding for normal human behavior to an acceptable level. It’s my tolerance for idiots that must be improved.
- Listening to many speakers, protesters, and commentators at these events you have to wonder if they use toilet paper with printed instructions on every sheet.
- Hey protesters: When is “old enough to know better” supposed to kick in?
- I couldn’t help wondering if all the human mental asylum’s in the nation had be shut and their inhabitants shipped to Philly and Cleveland.
- Let me get this straight humans – You humans lecture us on how love is the universal answer then follow that with how much you hate and despise the other 50% in the country. I’ve seen two rival wolf packs fighting over a kill that have more understanding of the other group.
- These events verify the saying, “When you’re stupid, you don’t know you’re stupid – It’s only difficult for others!”
November can’t come quick enough.
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