What scares me this Halloween? My list…


I think I’ll stay in bed on October 31st. If I crawl under the covers the ghosts and goblins won’t find me.

I asked the Geezer what Halloween was about. I’ve seen ads on TV. As I understand it, Halloween is a holiday that celebrates scaring humans shitless. (Pardon my French) Asking the Geezer was a mistake. He explained the holiday, it’s background, it’s traditions, it’s international connections, the impact on GNP, the effect of candy on children’s teeth, the average number of steps kids make trick or treating, and so on. That’s a mistake I won’t make again. When the speech finished, I knew the same basic: Halloween is the day folks try to terrify each other. One of the things the Geezer did…provide me with a list of things that horrify humans. Decaying Bodies, vampires, chain saw killers, the IRS. Horrible to humans, not to canines! I eat bats, I’m not stupid enough to get close to anyone running a chain saw, and dead bodies have never attacked a dog. The IRS, the FBI, the NKVD, maybe a little. I’ve decided to make my own list of what scares we canines (or at least, me).

Sandspurs completely covering my bathroom area — Ouch!

These weeds are the bane of my existence!

Huge cats stalking our neighborhood!

It haunts my dreams!

Empty dishes!

Hunger, Starvation, oh woe is me!

The Government!

Dog catchers at work! shiver!

I need to add Dr. Fauci to the list. As I just learned from TV, he tortures puppies to death in his medical experiments.

The big green truck! It has a huge mouth and makes strange noises!

Aaarrrgh! Varoom! Beep, beep, beep! Vast amounts of “stuff” disappears inside of it!

think my list is more terrifying! If you don’t think so, BOOOOO to you!

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Some of you asked about what the Geezer is doing. Go to the right margin of this post, find the link that says, DLHavlin(blog) or DLHavlin –that’s his webpage. He has two new books out, including one anthology featuring the Oak Ridge Boys.

 

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