Happy Thanksgiving! As I pound the keyboard, the turkey lies thawing in the sink, Mrs. G is fussing over her last second grocery list, and the Geezer is formulating a precise plan to maximize the number of football games he can watch on Turkey Day. The year 2020 has been hard to find much for which to be thankful. Maybe the item we can agree on to be thankful for most, is this damned year is almost over.
Over is the key word. Despite all the political bull-crap, we’re close to having a vaccine to control and get us over the Covid-19 virus the Chinese donated to the world. Hopefully, the violence in many American cities is over. The stupid-season is past, and the filth burning and looting didn’t help their cause. Most importantly, the election is over! It’s over! It’s over. IT”S OVER!! No more lies from politicians. Well, at least, less lies. No polls that have no basis in reality. No more mind pollution from the saturation of TV with garbage election adds. Please, will you worthless idiots in the media keep you mouths shut for a while and give us some peace. At least, let us have our holidays without your constant fermenting of unrest! The election farce is past!
Let’s look forward. Ahhhh. Next year. Let’s hope we can burn those cursed masks. Watch the NCAA basketball tournament…in person. Have dinner at our favorite restaurants. See The Masters with spectators. Visit our favorite state park. Enjoy a full football season. Swim at the beach. Visit the library. Go to the gym. Drink a margarita at our favorite watering hole. Watch a selective earthquake that swallows all past and present politicians and Washington bureaucrats. Well, somethings are too good to hope for. Happy Thanksgiving from Sandy and Brandi……..
VOTE! If you’ve never done it before, do it now! This election will determine the future of the country…that’s NOT hyperbole, hype, or exaggeration. Many people see politics and are repulsed by them. In the past, a significant percentage of the US population has told themselves, “Why bother? Things just stay the same.” This time that won’t happen. The citizens of this country are faced with a formative decision. Shall we continue on the path we have followed for over 200 years, that of focus on individual freedom or shall we proceed down a path trod by others, that of the collective state. History tells us, when it’s allowed, the outcome of both forms. It’s a simple choice. Do what you WANT, or do what you’re TOLD. What makes this election different is that one course may make it nearly impossible to return to the other.
😒 Twitter had originally censored this post!!
Does anyone know where I can hide until after the month of November?
I wonder if there is a more powerful or disturbing word in any language than why. It’s a painful word. Why? (There’s that word) It makes us think. That is something many don’t like to do. I find thinking is particularly distressing for human’s to attempt.
Dogs’ “why” questions normally can be logically answered. Consider our questions and our answers.
Q. Why do dogs chase cars? A. We feel like bullies chasing squirrels.
Q. Why do dogs have to go outside for bathroom duties? A. Humans put the toilet paper in places we can’t reach when sitting on the john.
Q. Why do dogs fetch balls or sticks when a human throws them. A. Humans are too stupid to give treats to their dogs unless prompted.
Q. Why do dogs hate cats? A. We don’t, but we have to pretend we do so humans think we’re normal … don’t humans all hate some group? Republicans? Democrats? I could go on forever.
Q. Why do dogs chase their tails? A. We only do this when we are bored and need exercise. This can be the result of watching too much television. It is also caused by trying to emulate Congress.
Notice that canines have straight-forward, logical answers to our “why” questions. Dogs admire logic. I’m sure a canine poll would disclose that Mr. Spock would be among our favorite media characters.
I think its interesting to consider some of the common “why” questions that humans struggle with.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Human’s actually debate this. My question is … Why is there any doubt? The damned chicken wants to get to the other side. So simple, yet humans wrestle with an answer. Who knew ………..
Q. Why do humans cheat on their spouses? A. They wear clothes. No one knows what they’re getting until its too late! (Note: We dogs have a clear vision of what the “possibilities” are!)
Q. Why do politicians lie? A. Humans struggle with this and try to come up with all manner of explanations that have to do with ideology, character, etc. Come on humans! Politicians lie for 5 reasons: 1) They believe voters are stupid. (in some cases this is correct) 2) The shape of their tongue (forked) makes telling the truth impossible 3) Most have no idea what the truth is 4) They want to get elected and don’t care about honesty. 5) They will get their own health care plan and retirement if they lie convincingly and get elected. (kind of like puppies being fed by government mommy dog)
Q. Why do humans buy fancier cars and bigger homes than they can afford? A. They need the space to contain and carry around their egos.
Q. Why do dogs develop conditioned responses while humans continue to repeat the same errors? A. Pavlov never had to try to teach a human.
Thinking is painful and difficult for homo sapiens. They do other things better. As an English poet once wrote, in part … “Ale man, ales the thing to drink … For all of you it hurts to think.”
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Fall is in the air! It’s only 92 degrees today and the humidity is 78%. Well, that’s better than its been. It means the holidays are coming and, best of all, the election will be over! It’s also traveling season for us as the Geezer starts his appearance schedule after his hip replacement.
Dogfucius has some bits of wisdom for the upcoming season.
Advice to does. A horny deer and a horny dear both must be approached with great caution unless one wishes to be horned. Approach a horny deer from downwind for best success when hunting. Approach a horny dear from upwind for nostril relief. (Hunting these is not necessary.)
Do not discuss going to Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving with any of your turkey friends.
Buy stock in insane asylums. The election will be over soon and overcrowding will be a problem.
I suggest humans with white chimneys post the following sign on Christmas Eve: “Santa, this is not our outhouse.”
Men, do not argue with your spouse about who will be the back half of your Halloween costume if you’re going dressed as a horse. You are what you are.
Speaking of horse rumps – My human, the lovable old Geezer, will be signing books at the On Point Book Fair tomorrow. If you’re in the Tampa, Florida area, he’ll be at the Westshore Plaza 10AM until (ugh) 9PM. Look for the sign with DL Havlin printed on it and the Geezer wearing his black Stetson.
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Water Boarding? Child’s play. The Rack? A stretching experience. Iron Maiden? Pin cushion in a case. Glowing hot pokers? Localized sun tans. All these tortures pale when compared to being exposed to the political conventions my human has on the tube.
I’ve compiled some of my thoughts after listening to the verbal vomit for the last two weeks.
- I wonder if many of the commentators prefer not to think before speaking because they like to be surprised by what their tongue produces.
- Humans are great examples of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Homo sapiens must have evolved from lemmings – they’re dumb enough to follow their leaders off of cliffs.
- Many convention speakers have the attitude that, “I could explain things to you, but I doubt you’d understand since you’re not elite like me.”
- Watching the protesters outside the conventions it’s plain these folk’s weren’t born with that little thing inside human brain’s that keeps them from saying or doing something they shouldn’t.
- As a canine, I have developed my understanding for normal human behavior to an acceptable level. It’s my tolerance for idiots that must be improved.
- Listening to many speakers, protesters, and commentators at these events you have to wonder if they use toilet paper with printed instructions on every sheet.
- Hey protesters: When is “old enough to know better” supposed to kick in?
- I couldn’t help wondering if all the human mental asylum’s in the nation had be shut and their inhabitants shipped to Philly and Cleveland.
- Let me get this straight humans – You humans lecture us on how love is the universal answer then follow that with how much you hate and despise the other 50% in the country. I’ve seen two rival wolf packs fighting over a kill that have more understanding of the other group.
- These events verify the saying, “When you’re stupid, you don’t know you’re stupid – It’s only difficult for others!”
November can’t come quick enough.
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I have pondered some important questions and have decided to enlighten you humans with helpful illuminations —-
Dogfucius says the human mouth is a poor design. There is no filter on it to catch the bad things that come from it: vomit and lies.
Dogfucius says one must remember the adage “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” You humans must modernize it to “Beware of politicians offering free stuff.”
Dogfucius says remember that those humans who profess to have good intentions have a poor record in producing good results.
Dogfucius says Pavlov proved canines are smarter than humans. He showed that dogs learn to avoid bad things and respond to good things rather quickly. Human’s aren’t smart enough to understand “He who chooses to ignore history is cursed to live it again.” Want proof? Read about the 1930’s (happenings and individuals) and compare them to today’s events.
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Happy birthday to all US citizens. That’s for people that really love this 240 year old country. I HOPE WE WILL BE ABLE TO ALL CELEBRATE 250 YEARS. Unless there is real change in the leadership, I don’t think we’ll see it. This is one time I don’t want to see something go to the dogs.
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Unless you are deaf, dumb or blind, you can’t be ignorant of the events of the last 48 hours. Humanities scum, filth, garbage … showed its depravity in Orlando. Unfortunately, the human who perpetrated this event will get the headlines. Sharing those headlines will be pundits and politicos who ask everyone to “be as one.” Aaaaaa … humans, let me enlighten you … you’re already divided. If you don’t make changes, severe ones, World War Three is in the wings. You cannot allow the type evil that is evolving in all areas of the world to grow and prosper. I’d prefer not to have to scavenge your bodies to survive.
I don’t like to talk politics so I won’t say more than this. You humans need change. In thinking. In policy. In honesty. In functionality. Most of all, in leadership. That’s at all levels, in all organizations. Government and the news media should be first, followed closely by what you humans humorously call collegiate education. Barking won’t get it. The only way a mouth saves is CPR. We have had way to much mouth – in fact, fifteen years of it is enough.
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