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Woof-woof Woof-woof-woof – Translated … Happy Thanksgiving

The holidays are on the way – Happy Thanksgiving, all!

The Holidays are HERE. I hope that the following season is a happy one for each of you.

May your disappointments be few –

May your successes be many –

May your opportunities be plentiful –

May you enjoy good health –

May your football, basketball, and baseball teams win –

May the “calorie sucker” do a good job on all the goodies you’ll eat today –

May we all understand the blessings we have and be thankful –

 

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To go or not to go, that’s my question. Not for you … you GO!

 

One of the pioneer houses at the Crowley Museum

One of the pioneer houses at the Crowley Museum

To go or not to go that is the question. Whether to be admired and petted by my many admirers or to risk the hooves and horns of free ranging farm animals … Wow what a question. The Geezer says I can go with him on one of his trips … I always beg him to … now I’m not so sure I’ll go.

The Geezer or DL Havlin as he’s better know, is one of the speakers at the Southwest Florida Heritage Festival at the Crowley Museum this Saturday. He’ll be doing two presentations. One will be “The Loyal 14th Colony: Florida and the Revolutionary War” which he’ll present at 1:30. The other will be on the years from 1865 through 1914. He calls that one, “Florida, the forgotten years,” and his talk will begin at 11:30 for that one.

There will be a large number of fun and educational events held at the Crowley. Don’t miss it! Here is a site that provides more information including directions on how to get there.  http://crowleyfl.org/calendar/heritage-festival/    DL (and maybe me) will be there. There will be all kinds of demonstrations from blacksmithing to pioneer cooking. Live music, too.

Here are more pics taken at Crowley.

An 1800's Cracker Limo

An 1800’s Cracker Limo

"I have nothing to offer you but blood, sweat, and grits" A pioneer kitchen---

“I have nothing to offer you but blood, sweat, and grits” A pioneer kitchen—

What put the CRACK in Cracker -- An exhibit at the Crowley Museum.

What put the CRACK in Cracker — An exhibit at the Crowley Museum.

The Geezer’s latest book has been released. It’s a suspense mystery novel titled The Bait Man. It will be available through your local book stores and on-line in ten days to two weeks.

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It’s Super Bowl time – I can tell by the smells

A keen nose and my sense of timing allow me to know how the super bowl is progressing

A keen nose and my sense of timing allow me to know how the super bowl is progressing

 

It’s Super Bowl time again! I’ll be shuffling off to the party my humans will attend. Everyone will be excited for it to start. I’ll be excited for it to end. That’s when the left-overs find their way to the floor.

Getting some excitement steam in my boiler is difficult when I don’t have a dog in the fight. Why? Think about it … There’s no representation for canines. There are four teams representing cats and, heaven forbid, five teams representing BIRDS! Lions, tigers and bears … yes. Dogs … no! Criminals are represented better than we are. Raiders … Buccaneers … come on NFL.

Why not the Arizona Airedales or the Pittsburgh Pit Bulls? They even have teams that represent colors. Browns? Browns! Come on! The Browns play like Pinks. Change their name to the Cleveland Collies, that’s more appropriate. They always come home and they’re not hostile.

What I’ll do is find a good spot to curl up and check the inside of my eyelids for pin holes. My nose will tell me what’s going on.

Pre-game brings the smells of onion dip, potato chips, and veggie trays.

First quarter produces the whiff of hot wings, beer, and more chips.

Second quarter brings the first odor of perspiration as one team falls behind.

Halftime introduces some more heavy weight smells. Hamburgers. Hot Dogs. Cheap wine. This year I expect baked beans and black-eyed peas to represent the regions.

Third quarter – more perspiration as lead changes hands, beer fumes overwhelm the odor of pepperoni pizza that arrived too late for the half.

Fourth quarter time! It is a literal lazy-susan of scents. Early, the aroma of feet (as shoes are removed) mixes with maximum volumes of sweat smell. As the “susan” turns, odors are topped off by beer, bourbon, and scotch. Toward the quarter’s end, beer and beans produce flatulent bursts.

When I smell the musty aroma of money as it changes hands I know the game is over. Yeah! When the game is over … can left-overs be far behind?

 

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Octoberfest – some canine observations

 

The Geezer with the smiling fraulein from the Octoberfest.

The Geezer with a beautiful, smiling Fräulein from the Octoberfest.

I always enjoy going along on the Geezer’s book adventures. Last weekend I had the opportunity. He attended an “Octoberfest” in Sarasota, Florida that was a number of things. First, it was a thoroughly enjoyable event. Its organizers are an enlightened crew that understand that canine presence adds to any festivity. I became a major point of interest in the Geezer’s booth; a celebrity in fact!

The Celebration was a bit of Munich transplanted to Florida’s west coast. The authentic garb many of the participants wore livened the festivities. German food and pastries added a yum factor and there was an abundance all types of beer to wash it down. The sounds of music was non-stop and had me looking for Julie Andrews and Christoper Plummer. The traditional folk songs made me try a four-legged polka from time-to-time. Beer steins were everywhere, smiles were on most everyone’s face, and tossing beer kegs was a big time game.

It was hot! I’m going to speak to the event organizer and see if some Bavarian temperatures can also be imported next year. Of course, the hot temperatures meant some patrons reduced the clothing wore to a minimum. In many cases, this was a good thing – least ways, the human males seemed to enjoy it. There were some individuals that would have been best served to have dressed themselves in fur like I do. Most of these wore fashions from the “Two Sizes Too Small Mall.” I’ll write a whole blog post about my visit to that shopping area.

Come next year this Octoberfest event is one to add to your list of “got to go to’s.”

 

octoberfest-1

 

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October 25 – Oh no! The Geezer will be impossible to live with – for a while.

     He’s back.  The Geezer turned on the computer Monday and this is literally the first opportunity I’ve had to nose him away from the keyboard.  He was off at a writer’s conference last week.  Would you believe it?  He won something.  One of his historical novel manuscripts received something called a Royal Palm Award.  I haven’t seen the tree yet, though he assures me that’s what he got.  All I’ve spotted is a glass-looking thing that looks like a trophy.  I’ll show you a picture of him with his publisher holding what I’m guessing is the claim tag for the tree the nursery will be delivering.

Neal and Rebecca Melvin, Double Edge Press Publishing with DL Havlin

     He’s won awards before.  Several in fact.  He gets hard to live with after he gets one.  Oh, he doesn’t swell up like a toad and brag…I could take that.  No, he has this s – – t-eating grin on his face, smugly staying quiet, basking in some “zone” humans contrive to salve their immense egos.  Unlike we canines that are as good as we think we are, a human’s false sense of superiority is hard for we dogs to endure.
     I decided to throw him a bone and congratulated him by saying, “I’m glad that you won something, Geezer.  A Royal Palm Award, huh.  You work at writing hard enough, put in the time, slam the keys — you deserve something for that.”
     “Thank you, Sandy?”  He tried to sound modest, though I suspicion he was acting.
     “When do they deliver it?”  I asked.
     “What?”
     “The award.”
     “Oh, I brought it home with me.”
     “The Royal Palm Award.”
     “Yes.”
     “You’re sure.”
     He looked confused, but humans generally are.  “You’re sure the award is the Royal Palm?”
     “I sure am.”  The Geezer turned back to the computer and began to send off emails to his friends about winning the tree.  The poor old boy must have become delusional.  I know he wouldn’t lie about such a thing, but the old wiring in his ancient brain must be shorting out.  He brought it home with him!A Royal Palm!  If he won one of those, I sure haven’t seen it.  And I should know!  I pee on the one in the neighbor’s yard everyday!

www.dlhavlin.wordpress.com

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July 28- A recipe for Vega-que

     My human is fat.  There I said it.  You know all those human interest pieces you see on TV about obesity, well the Geezer is the poster…I sure can’t say child…senior for that affliction.  It isn’t like he doesn’t try to get slimmer.  We walk a mile every day, he lifts weights four times a week, he makes a bona-fide attempt to avoid fattening foods, that’s until someone comes to visit.  Then “damn the calories, full gluttony ahead.”
     A case in point.  His beautiful daughter, her wonderful husband, and his two grand boys visited last week.  That meant an interruption.  Seven straight days where there was no time for walks, weights, or much of anything that constitutes a normal day in Geezerville.  Add to that the fact that some of the daughters friends visited; there was a whole lot of eatin’ goin’ on. 
     The Geezer is a good cook.  The problem is he normally prepares things like Steak Diane, or Eggs Bokeelia, or Baked Alaska.  By the time he gets done with the trimmings, the Titanic would have sunk under the weight of the calories he cooks, without tussling with the iceberg.
     Problem is, once the company leaves the overeating and break from the routine continues.  That’s compounded by the fact his publisher is releasing one of books, he’s working on two more, and generally, he’s trying to head in more directions at once than a cat dropped into a kennel holding nine pit bulls.  All this action is done while sitting on his ample ass behind the keyboard.
     I give him a hard time.  It’s for his own good, bbuuutttt I do enjoy it so.  As he pounded the keys I asked, “Are we going to take our 9 AM walk?”  It was 4:30 PM.
     “Oh shit, Sandy.  I forgot.”  He looked embarrassed. 
     “That’s all right, I understand.  It’s just I don’t want to look like you.”
     “Come on Sandy, give the old Geezer a break.”
     “Yeh, I don’t want kids chasing me down the street with a harpoon yelling, “There she blows!”
     “Ahhh, It’s not that bad.”
     “With all the food you’ve put away the last ten days, your brain must be in your butt.  And, with all that blubber pressing down on it, I can see why it doesn’t function well.”
     “Have a little compassion, girl.”  He looked like a toddler that just soiled his fresh diaper.  “I’ll get back on schedule tomorrow.  I promise.”
     “Oh yeah?  What are you having for supper tonight?”  I figured it would be something with enough calories to power up five sumo wrestlers.
     “Vega-que.”
     “Hmmmmm.  I’ll quit bugging you if you make some for me.”  I’m a meat and potatoes type girl, but……….
     “Deal.”  He went back to making arrangements for his book signing tour.  I went to the kitchen and waited.

     The recipe for DL’s Vega-que is:

Ingredients
4  tablespoons of butter
1   zucchini   9-10″  – cut into 1/4″ disks
2  yellow squash medium to large  – cut into 1/4″ disks
1  cup of cauliflower florets  –  be sure they’re small
1/2 cup of red spanish onion
1/2 cup of green bell pepper
1/2 cup of red bell pepper
2  medium gold potatoes  – peeled and diced into 1/2″ cubes
10  medium white mushrooms  – cut in half or quarters
1  can diced tomatoes
1 1/2 cups of catsup
2 tablespoons of whole pickling spice
1  tablespoon of garlic powder

Instructions
1. Place a quarter cup of virgin olive oil in a large pan and heat to medium temperature.
2. Place butter in crock pot and melt with LOW temperature.
3. Place zucchini, yellow squash, cauliflower, onion, bell peppers, and potatoes into the pan and stir.
4. Place the mushrooms in the crock pot.
5. Cook veggies over medium heat 1-2 minutes then add to crock pot. (should NOT be soft)
6. Place can of diced tomatoes and catsup in crock pot.
7. Add whole pickling spice and garlic to crock pot.
8. Stir until thoroughly mixed.
9. Simmer (LOW heat) for 3/4 to 1  hour  – stir lightly every 10 minutes.
Serves eight – freezes well.

Yum!  Yum!

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www.dlhavlin-author.com 

July16- Is the whole poll to put a pole in the hole?

     “You humans never cease to amaze me.”  The Geezer and I sat on the dock while he performed one of the obligatory functions I insist upon, brushing me.  “Your language defies logic.”
     “Oh?  How’s that?”  He cleaned the brush sending another puff of my fluffy undercoat onto the canal water.  Its surface was blossoming like the hibiscus bushes in the front yard.
     “Hmmmm, I was listening to the TV this morning.  They were talking about the polls saying this and the polls saying that.  Now, I know you have a room full of fishing poles.  Okay, okay, I know the difference.  But, why not have a different sounding word for every different meaning.  In Doganese, Woof is Woof, Arf is Arf, Grrrr is Grrrr.  There’s no guessing.”
     “That’s a good point, Sandy.  As you know, all humans don’t speak the same language.  English is the one you’re most familiar with and it’s also one of the worst for having words that sound the same, but have multiple meanings.”
     I hate it when he gets into one of his condescending, ‘I’ll explain this to you as nicely as I can, you poor unfortunate,’ modes.  It’s his Bill O’Reilly impersonation.  But, he means well, so I tacitly become his straight-man.  “And, why is that?” I asked.
     “English, as we know it, has been influenced by the Celts, Romans, Anglo-Saxons, and the Norman French.  Each was in control of the British Isles.  Each brought their own terms to describe a thing or a process.  Those identifiers were simply absorbed into the language.  That’s why we have so many ways to say the same thing.  Some sounded identical to words already in use.”  He smiled one of his patronizing, ‘I’m glad I could clear that up for you,’ lip curls.  Puke, puke, puke.
     “That doesn’t make it any more logical, or easier, for creatures and humans that aren’t steeped in your hodge-podge vernacular.”  I felt like adding, ‘Take that!’ but the old boy is free with the treats.  No sense in creating self-inflicted pain.
     “Give me an example, Sandy.  I’ll try to explain.”  He appeared to be a little contrite.
     “Okay, explain to me how a person unfamiliar with the lame logic your language employs wouldn’t be confused by the use of poll – which I understand to mean, a study to determine a group of people’s thoughts on a subject used to help influence others – and pole, which is basically a shaft.”
     “Why, Sandy, that’s brilliant!”  The Geezer smiled.  In this type of situation, that’s not a good thing.  Something smelled like a five-day-old dead fish.
     “I know I shouldn’t ask, but why is that?”  I could see the guillotine being wheeled into place.
     “You’ve connected the two meanings perfectly, Sandy.  So you’re saying that polls are designed to shaft a bunch of people by making them believe a certain way.”
     How do you answer something like that?  The whole theory has a huge hole in it.  Oh, good grief!  He’s got me doing it!

www.dlhavlin-author.com

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