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Meet the Geezer

I reflect best as I ride

Hi all – A quick note to let you know as of two days ago I’m able to make posts, respond to comments … hooray!

Want to meet the Geezer? He’ll be speaking to a writers group, Gulf Coast Writers Association in Fort Myers, Florida this Saturday (June 16th). The meeting is held at Zion Lutheran Church, 7401 Winkler Road, Fort Myers, FL   33919. His topic will be “A writer’s covenant – gaining influence and the responsibility that goes with it.”

He will also be announcing the 2019 southwest Florida writers conference titled, “Possibilities, the Hudson comes to the Peace.” It will feature agents and editors from New York City.

 

 

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The Geezer deep in thought … or the best imitation of which he’s capable

Has WordPress turned into Wordpucky or is it ME … I wish I knew

 I’m back. I think I am. I’m not sure. The reason you haven’t seen any posts on this blog is I haven’t been able to gain access to it to write something. Dealing with any of these Internet colossus organizations is frustrating. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! The Geezer is just as frustrated as I am. He has his own blog and he’s suffering the same fate. We finally found a tortuous method of getting a post on our own blogs. It isn’t right, but…. The worst thing is we can’t get in touch with anybody to find out if it’s us or them. It happened around the time of one of the up-date “improvements” these organizations do when THEY see fit. Several of them I use have improved the “system” (jokingly stated) to the point I just about can’t use them anymore. Is anybody else frustrated?

I guess you can chalk this post up to venting. It’s kind of like barking at the moon. You do it. You know it’s foolish and will accomplish nothing. But, you do it anyway.

I’ll end with some TRULY GREAT NEWS for authors, writers, and writer-want-to-be’s in the southwest Florida area (That area from Sarasota to Marco Island and inland across the state.). ABC Books 4 Children and Adults is sponsoring a full-scale writers conference in April 2019 (Saturday the 13th). It’s titled, “The Hudson comes to the Peace” (Referring to rivers in each area) and will feature 16 of New York’s top agents and editors. The theme is possibilities. That’s all the many ways you can improve your writing talent by working with newspapers, magazines, TV, electronic media and many more. It’s a full day of education that is available at a fraction of the cost of equivalent events in other venues.

A day at the fair …

Englewood Florida’s “Cracker Fair” was a great event. Heavily attended, its organizers deserve to take a bow.

 

Wow! The event I attended over the weekend gets a five bone award on a five bone scale. It had something that all who attended could enjoy. Woof-woof for the “Lemon Bay Historical Society Cracker Fair.” Everything from demonstrations of pioneer living, to the wildlife that Florida’s early settlers had for neighbors entertained and educated. You couldn’t help but be impressed by the folks who made up the very large crowd. I spoke to men and women from nine different countries. (Count ’em – England, Canada, India, France, Denmark, Germany, Columbia, Switzerland, and South Africa.) Like you’d expect, many canines took their humans to the cultural event. I had a chance to bark with breeds from – Boxers to Yorkies – with Chihuahuas, Bull dogs, German Sheperds, and many others mixed in. Of course, other Goldens were well represented. I distributed my canine cookie recipe to so many, I almost ran out of the cards it’s printed on. Below are some interesting pics from the fair.

 

This hawk checked out the spectators. Old talons was part of the wildlife exhibit.

“Who dat?” The wise old owl asked about an admirer. Wildlife was there courtesy of a wildlife rescue/refuge group. They do great work!

There wasn’t a negative about the fair. The result on the Geezer … that’s another thing. It will take a month for the swelling to go down. He was the featured speaker during the town’s history week at Charlotte/Englewood library a few days before and many people stopped by to tell him they really enjoyed his presentation. (At that point, an air-compressor hose was attached to his cranium) A couple individuals asked him to speak to their organizations. If that wasn’t bad enough, four people who have read his books stopped by to buy more and tell him how much they loved his stuff. That last part, the loved his stuff, was bad! The compressor fired off. Putt, putt, putt, putt……… Next, two placed orders for a book he’s in the process of finishing. Compressor. Faster.  Buttabuttabuttabutta……….. Finally, one person left her name with a standing order for each new book when it comes out. Compressor. Race. Bbbbrrrruuuummmmmmmm………. The old turkey will be hard to live with for a while. If I can find a large pin, I’ll puncture that balloon – that is if I can find a way to shelter from the gush of hot air that will rush out at hurricane force.

The Geezer loves history and the culture of ALL of our past. He believes that choosing to ignore history insures the same mistakes will be relived. Ignoring or “deleting” what’s happened won’t change one thing and only drastically increases the probability of an instant replay.

The Cracker Fair is all about history. Some intrepid re-enactors sweated and sweltered in the Florida sun so the visitors could get the flavor of the times. Below are a couple of gentlemen who were walking, talking history books. They added mystic and ambiance besides answering questions about the time period.

Infantryman Gene, a friendly fellow from the Florida militia, circa 1860s

Here comes the cavalry! An officer from the same period. One neat guy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Worse, the Geezer will be speaking at the Helen B. Hoffman Library, located at 501 N Fig Tree Lane, in Plantation, Florida, Monday 2/12 at 10 AM. He’ll be speaking about “The loyal 14th colony: Florida in the Revolutionary War.”

I may need a blimp tender to hold him down after that.

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Sometimes I’m so happy I could just s _ _ t!

“Sometimes I’m so happy I could just s – – t!

I finally was able to get to the computer to write a post! The Geezer has been so busy he’s hogged the keyboard ever since Christmas. The old boy is finishing two books. He’s doing a final edit on one and completing the last chapters on the other.  The months of December through April are Snow Bird season so that means he’s busy on the speaker’s circuit. Most “events” are held during that period because there are up to a third more folks that can attend.

It’s also the season he gets to enjoy seeing his long-lost schoolmates and friends. The old boy really loves that. He’s had three visits in the last four weeks.

You’d think this would give me more, not less, opportunity to blog. Nope. Two things have occurred to keep this from happening. First, because he’s been so busy, he has switched to a lap top and takes it with him. Second, and this one I can’t even complain about, he has been able to take me with him on a lot of events lately. If I complain about that, all the moaning and grousing about being left at home will have been wasted.

My two favorite friends in the neighborhood are away on trips. Manny, the Chichichua is off on a cruise through the Panama canal. It will be a while before he or Sarge comes back. Sarge is my German Shepard friend who is visiting relatives in Colorado for a month of skiing. I can see his humans on skis, but even though Sarge is an athlete that vision is a bit much. That leaves Fifi and Lucy. Fifi is the typical conceded Poodle who knows everything and has done everything better than you and Lucy the Cocker Spaniel owns a mouth that may be the first perpetual motion machine ever invented. It is tough spending time with them. I try, but boredom is better.

Being careful to avoid complaining about all the travelling, I told the Geezer, “Geezer I’m bored. Can’t you find a way to let me get some computer time? I’m tired of doing nothing.”

“Why are you unhappy? Seems to me you have it very good. All you have to do is watch the Osprey’s nest across the street, see the mullet jump in the canal, sleep on your cushions, and ride with me when I go to speak. You like all those things, don’t you?”

“Well, yes.”

The old boy had me boxed in and he knew it. “So, you should be happy, right?”

“Right.”

“Good.”

You know, sometimes I’m so happy I could just s _ _ t!

 

Note: Come see the Geezer and me at Pioneer Park in Englewood, Florida tomorrow. He’ll be there all day.

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Sandy’s Dream of Twelve Golden Days of Christmas!

The Geezer and I wish you all a very “Merry Christmas”

 

On the 1st day of Christmas
My human gave to me
A fuzzy rug on which to play

I’m a reindeer – Did I fool anyone?

On the 2nd day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Two Osprey screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

These birds are my alarm clock EVERY morning

On the 3rd day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

I’m now known as “Mahatma Sandy”

On the 4th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

What is life without cheese?

On the 5th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

Aren’t they cute? Too bad they grow into arrogant cats.

On the 6th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Six balls to go a chasing
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

Shiny balls that will be easy to see no matter how bad my human’s aim is!

On the 7th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Seven pictures of Rin Tin Tin
Six balls to go a chasing
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey a screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

What a hunk! Someone to dream about.

On the 8th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Eight quail a whistling
Seven pictures of Rin Tin Tin
Six balls to go a chasing
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey a screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

A painting – These type don’t hide in the palmetto bushes.

On the 9th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Nine sticks of Pupperoni
Eight quail a whistling
Seven pictures of Rin Tin Tin
Six balls to go a chasing
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey a screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

“Yum-yum Bells, Yum-yum Bells. Yum-yum all the way!

On the 10th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Ten two pound steaks a sizzling
Nine packages of Pupperoni
Eight quail a whistling
Seven pictures of Rin Tin Tin
Six balls to go a chasing
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey a screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

Dare I say it? My tongue anticipates heaven!

On the 11th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Eleven bottles of Dom Perignon Champagne
Ten two pound steaks a sizzling
Nine packages of Pupperoni
Eight quail a whistling
Seven pictures of Rin Tin Tin
Six balls to go a chasing
Five kitties meowing
Four pounds of cheese
Three hats to wear
Two Osprey a screaming
And a fuzzy rug on which to play

Ohhh my …. See dem pink eliepantttss?

On the 12th day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Twelve glasses of Alka-Seltzer a fizzing
No bottles of Dom Perignon Champagne
No steaks a sizzling
No Pupperoni
No quail a whistling
No pictures of Rin Tin Tin
No balls to chase
No kitties meowing
No pounds of cheese
No hats to wear
No Osprey screaming
No fuzzy rug to sleep it all off

“OH, what a relief it is!

 

Merry Christmas and … A Happy Hang-over … Opps! … A Happy New Year.

PLEASE! No noise … no bright light … no making me move … and NO food!

 

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Woof-woof Woof-woof-woof – Translated … Happy Thanksgiving

The holidays are on the way – Happy Thanksgiving, all!

The Holidays are HERE. I hope that the following season is a happy one for each of you.

May your disappointments be few –

May your successes be many –

May your opportunities be plentiful –

May you enjoy good health –

May your football, basketball, and baseball teams win –

May the “calorie sucker” do a good job on all the goodies you’ll eat today –

May we all understand the blessings we have and be thankful –

 

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A Scary Fairy Tale for Halloween ……

 

Telling a scary Halloween story to my niece!

This is a scary fairy tale I told my nice niece Remi for Halloween.

Once upon a time there was this beautiful, kind, and loving dog. Her name was Large Gold Sandrahood, princess of the country, Hambonia. It was said of Sandrahood that she wouldn’t hurt a flea. Of course, that was easy for her because she lived in a flea-less castle and was protected by a monthly ritual where one of her human vassals removed magic potion from a silver package and with great ceremony offered the magic, mystic material to Sandrahood as an epicurean delight.

Everyone in the castle and all that came to visit loved Large Gold Sandrahood. They performed all shorts of traditional acts to exhibit their affection and loyalty for her like the ten minute ear scratch, the ball toss and bend over, and the offerings of Pupperoni and Milkbone biscuits. Sandrahood lived in an unending world of love. It was hard for her to believe anyone was baahh-hhaad.

Then one day, when all her human servants were away, a strange person came to the door. That person knocked and knocked and knocked. No amount of barking, to tell the stranger her servants weren’t home, did any good. Large Gold Sandrahood finally went to the door and opened it, but left the safety chain in place. She said, “Okay Dude, whatcha want?”

Standing in front of Large Gold Sandrahood was a huge fat figure completely covered by a cloak with a hood on it. The creature’s head was small and so far back in the hood its features weren’t visible. A squeaky voice said, “Hello, Large Gold Sandrahood. I’m your Granny Hoody Hood come to visit.”

“My Granny is dead.” Sandrahood wasn’t buying the Brooklyn Bridge today.

The stranger’s voice dropped four octaves. “Would you believe Grandpa Hoody Hood?”

“Would you believe I’m Nicole Kiddman?” Sandrahood replied.

“Nope.”

“You got your answer.” Large Gold Sandrahood started to close the door.

“No! Don’t do that! Can I interest you in an apple or maybe some Fuller Brushes?”

Sandrahood left the door open a crack. “No … GO … AWAY!”

“Wait! Wait! I’m a great kisser. I often change into a toad … oops I got that one wrong. If you go up on your balcony, and stick out your tail, I’ll climb up and save you.” The caped crock was getting desperate. He changed his approach. From the rusty annals of TV channels a voice from Laugh-In spoke, “Would you like a piece of candy, little girl.” It sounded just like Artie Johnson.

Sandrahood snorted, “You have more lines than Harvey Weinstein.”

“No problem. I can get you a part in a movie.” The creature moved exposing six odd-shaped arms and legs.

Sandrahood was alarmed. She screamed, “What a strange number of arms and legs you have!”

“The better to hang on while I eat you!” The creature threw off the cape exposing its 300 pound blob body beneath. In horror, Large Gold Sandrahood couldn’t tell if the monster was a giant tick, or a giant flea, or Michael Moore! She screamed as the monster grabbed the door and tried to pull it open.

But ……….. Large Gold Sandrahood was part Boyscout – she was prepared. She held two pictures up to the partly open door. The monster took one look at them, shrieked, and fell over … quite dead.

When her humans returned they were so concerned for her and apologized for her endangerment. One asked, “How did you dispatch such an ugly, vile, evil monster?”

Sandrahood smiled. “Easy, I held up these. I knew one or the other would do him in. If Hillary didn’t, Don would.”

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This coming Weekend the Geezer (DL Havlin) will be at the Deltona Book Fair with his publisher Taylor & Seale and several of their authors. It will be held Saturday (October 28th) from 9:30 until 4:00. The location is at the Deltona Regional Library, 2150 Eustace Ave., Deltona, FL  32725. He’ll be there most of the day and at the fair sale area 1 to 4.

 

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