Tag Archive | Cooking

To go or not to go, that’s my question. Not for you … you GO!

 

One of the pioneer houses at the Crowley Museum

One of the pioneer houses at the Crowley Museum

To go or not to go that is the question. Whether to be admired and petted by my many admirers or to risk the hooves and horns of free ranging farm animals … Wow what a question. The Geezer says I can go with him on one of his trips … I always beg him to … now I’m not so sure I’ll go.

The Geezer or DL Havlin as he’s better know, is one of the speakers at the Southwest Florida Heritage Festival at the Crowley Museum this Saturday. He’ll be doing two presentations. One will be “The Loyal 14th Colony: Florida and the Revolutionary War” which he’ll present at 1:30. The other will be on the years from 1865 through 1914. He calls that one, “Florida, the forgotten years,” and his talk will begin at 11:30 for that one.

There will be a large number of fun and educational events held at the Crowley. Don’t miss it! Here is a site that provides more information including directions on how to get there.  http://crowleyfl.org/calendar/heritage-festival/    DL (and maybe me) will be there. There will be all kinds of demonstrations from blacksmithing to pioneer cooking. Live music, too.

Here are more pics taken at Crowley.

An 1800's Cracker Limo

An 1800’s Cracker Limo

"I have nothing to offer you but blood, sweat, and grits" A pioneer kitchen---

“I have nothing to offer you but blood, sweat, and grits” A pioneer kitchen—

What put the CRACK in Cracker -- An exhibit at the Crowley Museum.

What put the CRACK in Cracker — An exhibit at the Crowley Museum.

The Geezer’s latest book has been released. It’s a suspense mystery novel titled The Bait Man. It will be available through your local book stores and on-line in ten days to two weeks.

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Octoberfest – some canine observations

 

The Geezer with the smiling fraulein from the Octoberfest.

The Geezer with a beautiful, smiling Fräulein from the Octoberfest.

I always enjoy going along on the Geezer’s book adventures. Last weekend I had the opportunity. He attended an “Octoberfest” in Sarasota, Florida that was a number of things. First, it was a thoroughly enjoyable event. Its organizers are an enlightened crew that understand that canine presence adds to any festivity. I became a major point of interest in the Geezer’s booth; a celebrity in fact!

The Celebration was a bit of Munich transplanted to Florida’s west coast. The authentic garb many of the participants wore livened the festivities. German food and pastries added a yum factor and there was an abundance all types of beer to wash it down. The sounds of music was non-stop and had me looking for Julie Andrews and Christoper Plummer. The traditional folk songs made me try a four-legged polka from time-to-time. Beer steins were everywhere, smiles were on most everyone’s face, and tossing beer kegs was a big time game.

It was hot! I’m going to speak to the event organizer and see if some Bavarian temperatures can also be imported next year. Of course, the hot temperatures meant some patrons reduced the clothing wore to a minimum. In many cases, this was a good thing – least ways, the human males seemed to enjoy it. There were some individuals that would have been best served to have dressed themselves in fur like I do. Most of these wore fashions from the “Two Sizes Too Small Mall.” I’ll write a whole blog post about my visit to that shopping area.

Come next year this Octoberfest event is one to add to your list of “got to go to’s.”

 

octoberfest-1

 

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To error is canine…to make excuses is human…

My human’s life isn’t complicated.  I’m sure the Geezer might disagree with me; you know how human’s are always whining.   He let’s the littlest things interfere with his life and my fun. Let me share a couple of examples with you.

Before he left on his tour, leaving me and Mrs. G here to boot for ourselves, he had one of those minor problems that he lets control his activities.  He bent over to pick up a spoon off of the floor.  When he straightened up, I’ve never heard so much wailing.  Not even my cat half-bro Oreo makes screams like that when he gets his tail caught under the rollers on a chair or in my teeth.  “Aaaaggggghhhhh!…Oh shit!  Not before my trip!” the old boy screamed.

I’m not swearing this is true, but I thought I heard Mrs. G asking him about doing a few chores before he left.  You should have seen him.  He was bent over from the waist, staring at the ground like he was hunting for fishing worms.  This guy should have won the Oscar for portrayal of an ambulance case.  Excuses, excuses.

In the off chance that the Geezer wasn’t acting, it just proves another thing we canines and most of the rest of the animal world knows…four legs are better than two.  We dogs don’t need chiropractors, surgeons, or Ben-Gay.  Guess what…there was no game of “get it” that day.   (That’s when a trained human throws a ball so we canines can get it.)

Another example happened today.  Mind you, this was his first day back.  I was raring to go for our walk. a walk I’d missed for 12 days.  The sun rose, but my human didn’t.  That’s very unusual.  He normally stumbles from his bed around 4:30 each morning, mumbles a string of unintelligible words and staggers to the coffee maker.  There he concocts the vile blackened water he’s so fond of drinking, something I’d say would be more fitting as a punishment than a daily high-point.

When he was still prone in his bed as the first rays of light illuminated his gray hair, I decided to get him moving.  A long stripe of fresh dog-slobber applied with my raspy tongue applied cheek to cheek awakens the dead.  Sure enough, the Geezer’s eyes opened a tiny bit.  He mumbled  something I didn’t understand and rolled over so his face was turned away from me.  The Geezer was going to be difficult.  I hopped up on the bed, stood over him and reapplied the slobber.  He repeated the response clear enough for me to understand this time.  He said, “I got jet-lag, let me sleep.”

Can you believe that!  He believes he got sick from riding in a jet plane.  I wonder what “jet bacteria” looks like under a microscope.  No amount of poking, licking or pawing could get him up to take me on my walk.  If excuses were money there isn’t a human that’s ever been born that wouldn’t be insanely rich.

http://www.dlhavlin.com

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Why are Dog Days…Dog Days? Do I smell a human? (Plus Hush Puppies)

Why do humans call those hot miserable days we’re experiencing now, dog days?  I’d really like to know.  It certainly isn’t because we canines enjoy the heat and humidity.  I’m sure some forms of animal life enjoy it.  Lizards, frogs, toads, and snakes?  That’s a guess.  I don’t know many frogs or toads and my command of the Lizarddi language leaves much to be desired.  I know some snakes… and I can converse with them well enough to know I don’t trust anything they say.  The only creature more deceitful is a umanas politicius.
Humans derived the name, but why?  Is it because we canines suffer this time of year?  Horses suffer as much.  So do cows, pigs, even cats.  My talks with Oreo, my feline half-brother, and Buddy, the horse that lives a couple blocks over, have confirmed it’s not because they like this summer roast.

Possibly, the name just sounds good.  “Lizard days of summer,” doesn’t have a lyrical lilt like “Dog days” does.  Neither does pig days, or toad days, or so on.
They could have called this time period, “miserable human days,” but this suggests they may have some slight responsibility for their own discomfort.  Humans loath taking responsibility for anything.  The “Blame Game” is their favorite past-time.  Don’t believe that?  If you can suffer through an evening of watching human TV news and advertisements during this political season you’ll know I’m telling you gospel.

If you think about it, humans use animals to describe all kinds of things they don’t like…”Good weather for ducks,” translates to more rain than they want… “Horse feathers (or shit)”, for lies they’re told… “Sneaky as a cat,” for anyone who manipulates them…”Bird brained”…referring to their low IQ associates… and my personal favorite, “Dumb as a dog,”…talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

Some humans are lovable, however.  Oreo and I have been helping entertain some of the Geezer’s human friends and children/grand- children over the last two weeks.  BO and Randy were first, followed by Big Den, Little Den and Natalia.  We weren’t home much…in fact the computer was off for thirteen days.

 

Me and Oreo taking it easy after entertaining

     To keep my promise to Randy and Bo, here’s the Geezer’s recipe for hush puppies I snuck out of his book.

The Geezer’s Light and Fluffy Hush Puppies.

Stuff you need to make them:
1 cup hush puppy mix – (Dixie Lily or Autry’s are fine)
1/2 cup self rising flour
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
2 eggs
1 tablespoon minced garlic  (powder will do in a pinch)
2 teaspoons black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
8 stuffed green olives finely chopped.
3/4 cup of water

What you do:
First- Place mix, flour, chopped onion, pepper, salt in a large mixing bowl and stir thoroughly.
Second- Add water, eggs (no shells please)…stir thoroughly…again.  If he batter is too “grainy,” add a splash or two of water.
Third- Add the chopped olives and garlic…guess what?  Stir thoroughly again!  Set batter aside for twenty minutes.
Fourth- Heat vegetable oil 1″ deep in a skillet, etc. to 350 degrees.  Use a tablespoon to measure and drop the batter into the grease.  Cook until golden on both sides.   Yummy!

www.dlhavlin-author.com

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July 14 – Parking Lot Lies

I have a broken heart. Romanski hasn’t called. He hasn’t written or even emailed me. I’ve been mopping around the house…waiting…hoping. If you missed my previous post, Romanski is a handsome Golden Retriever I met on my recent trip. I’ve been in such a funk it was noticeable to the Geezer. It usually takes an anvil to fall on him before he notices such things.

“Sandy, what’s wrong old girl?” he asked.

“Old girl, aren’t you calling the kettle black?” I retorted.

“My aren’t we touchy today. That’s just a term of endearment, Sandy. I’m not really saying you’re old.”

Humans have the weirdest way of communicating. “My friend,” certainly would have been a more appropriate way to address me. We females are sensitive about being called old. Homo sapiens have hundreds of ways of nibbling around the edges of what they want to communicate. In Doganese, Woof is Woof, Arf is Arf, and Grrrr is Grrrr. Why complicate matters? I started to lecture him on the value of concise clear conversation, but I didn’t have the patience to deal with human mental deficiency at the time. Besides, he’s been subjected to so much rhetoric from TV political ads and programs I’m sure his mind is warped and has contracted into a protective shell. One needs a bull-shit deflector to stand anywhere near a television that’s operating these days. I decided to give the old codger a break.

“I know you weren’t trying to offend me, Geezer. I’ve just been a bit upset and disappointed lately,” I said.

“Really? I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it’s nothing I’ve done.”

“No. It’s something you had nothing to do with.”

“Do you mind me asking what it is?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” I lied. I really did. It helps to chat about your emotional issues even if you have to do it with a human…male.

“You sure, Sandy? One of the only good things about getting old is that you’ve experienced enough to give good advice. I certainly qualify as old.” The Geezer was using his most fatherly tone.

“I don’t need advice as much as a shoulder to cry on.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Remember when we stopped at the Welcome Station in Tennessee? I met Romanski, remember him?”

“I’m so sorry.” The Geezer had that, ‘oh, that’s how it is,’ look he gets occasionally. I just plain don’t like that look. He noticed I wasn’t impressed and quickly changed his expression. “He hasn’t called?”

“No. Not a word from him in any way. He seemed so sincere when we strolled around the parking lot. He made so many promises. Anything I said I wanted from life, he did too. Romanski looked into my eyes and told me it was one of those one- in-a-thousand love-at-first-sight things. I believed him and poured my heart out to him. Now……..”

“Sandy, don’t feel bad. You’re not the first lady, or for that matter, man, that’s been led astray in a parking lot or just while parked.” The Geezer shook his head sadly. “Those are what I call Parking Lot Lies.”

“Well, at least I wasn’t the first person to be told what they wanted to hear so a scum-bag could try to get what he wanted.”

“You’re right.”

“Gosh, Geezer, Romanski reminds me of one of those politicians I hear you listening to on TV.”

“That’s exactly right, Sandy! They’re both trying to screw us!”

http://www.dlhavlin-author.com

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June 30 – Rome, Athens, Dublin, Cairo…It could go to a poor dog’s head!

     If you wondered why no scratchings the past few weeks…I’ve been traveling.  The Geezer decided he couldn’t be without my advice and counseling for three weeks, so I got to go on a combination book introduction tour and vacation.
     The places we went!  The things we saw!  Dublin!  Cairo!  Athens!  Rome!  And that was all before we left Georgia!  Well, we didn’t stop in all those places, we went through them.  Well, that isn’t exactly correct, we were close to them…..  Errrr, truthfully, we saw their names on road signs.
     Where we did go…and stop…was impressive to a canine like me.  There were the big places:  Atlanta, Chattanooga, Nashville, Louisville, Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Knoxville, Asheville, Columbia, Hilton Head, Savannah, Jacksonville and Gainesville.  And the little places: Elizabethtown, Coldwater, Ludington and Eatonton.  I’ve got some great stories about many of them.
     I met fascinating people like Lance, Edward, Sarah, Ranger Lee and the man in the art studio in Chattanooga.  Of course, we visited old friends and relatives:  D3, Natalia, Bo, Denny, Dorothy, Chet, Betty, Tom, Jim, Judy, Pete, Sandy ( a human version), Orson, Martha, and Jeanne and Bob.  I’ve got lots to tell about them.
    We visited Chickamauga the oldest military park in the US.  If we had stopped and bought just one bottle at all the wineries and distilleries we passed, the Geezer would have enough alcohol to last him until the year 2114.  (He’s not much of a drinker.)  And, at the Tennessee Welcome Station on I-75, I met Romanski, a handsome male Golden Retriever.  It was love at first sight.  We ran, we frolicked, we panted together, then we had to part.  I gave him my URL, but you know how those summer romances are – they never seem to work out.
     The trip has given me an inexhaustible supply of information to write about.  Like Joel Chandler Harris’ home, Eatonton, Georgia and the fine people we met there.  I have some great recipes to pass on in the weeks to come.  And I’ll tell you about the Civil War battlefield we visited.  And the people at the Geezer’s high school reunion.  And the motels that we stayed in that had water dripping from leaks in the ceiling, fights in the parking lots, exploding coffee makers, and on, and on, and on.  And the Geezer’s fishing in Michigan.  Yes, there are three things that are inevitable…death…taxes…and…the Geezer fishing if there is a body of water larger than a bath tub near him.
     Ahhhhh, I’ll have to wrap this up.  The human’s are starting to unload the car and I need to be there to supervise.  You know the species.  They’d probably leave my pillow and dish until last, like my things are less important than their suitcases and the cooler.  The amount of patience required to deal with humans!  I have to keep murmuring under my breath, “Be kind to inferiors,” so I keep my cool.  Thankfully, I reassure myself that…at least my humans aren’t of that slowest and lowest humanoid subspecies of all, humanus politicianus.

www.dlhavlin-author.com

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February 20 – High gas costs even affect we canines!

     “Well, it’s finally starting to affect us.”  Fifi the poodle looked indignant.
     “What’s starting to affect us?” I asked.
     “The price of gas!”  She said it like we should have known what was bothering her.  But then Fifi is a narcissist of the first order.  If anything disturbs her ego-centric world she believes everyone else should be aware of what’s inconveniencing her and break their necks to eliminate her problem.  She spends too much time around people.  “My human canceled my grooming appointment.  I can’t bear the thought of looking shaggy and plebian like Heintz or Gertrude.”
    Gertrude, our resident dachshund, has a habit of looking like she just emerged from a rabbit hole and a muddy one at  that.  Heintz?  What can I say?  Maybe he can register as a new breed – “Slobovian Mut.”  Missing her weekly trim wouldn’t put Fifi’s looks into either of their categories.  Not even close.  But, knowing how Fifi’s ego works, I had to get a tad catty.  “That’s too bad, you are looking a little ragged.”
    Lucy and Barbie our neighborhood’s twin Cockers seized on my remark and twisted the knife a bit.  “You do look a little misshapen.  What do you think Barbie?  Her chest cut is lopsided to the left.” 
     Barbie said, “Yep.  And, the ball on her tail looks more like a watermelon than a tennis ball.”
    “I simply can’t be seen in public this way.”  Fifi looked thoroughly distressed.  That’s a good thing.  She began pulling on her leash so hard her human was whisked away like she was skiing over the pavement. 
     The five of us that remained had a good woof over the whole thing.  If Fifi had thought about her problem on her own, we’d have been more understanding, but she’s picked up the human habit of listening to others conversation and adopting it as her own.  Our humans were talking about the rising cost of gas…so.  I think I’ll take the time to warn her of overly identifying with Homo sapiens.  You can only do so much slumming before you trash up yourself.
     “I hate to agree with the French on anything, but…” Sarge the German shepherd took a deep breath, “My human put off going to the store yesterday.  Said she could get by on what was in the pantry for another week.  Stretch things out ’cause of the cost of gas.  That includes my treats.  I’m on half rations until next Wednesday.
     Lucy turned her head to Barbie.  “That might explain why two out of our last three trips to the dog park were canceled.”
     “Or why our humans got the bicycles down from the spot where they hang in the garage,” Barbie added.  “I hate having to run next to those things instead of riding in the car.”
     “Oh, oh, oh, oh, it’s a good thing at our house.”  Manny, the hood’s cock-eyed optimist was shaking so hard you could have made a malt by attaching a glass to his back.  Chihuahua’s vibrate easily anyway.  “We all lose weight when the price of gas goes up…well, except for me.”
     I felt sorry for my little friend.  His pride wouldn’t allow him to accept pity.  “That’s too bad, Manny.  How much does it cut down on what your family can spend on food?”
     “Oh, oh, oh, oh, nothing.  We buy just as much.”
     “Then why does your family lose weight, Manny?” Sarge asked.
     “Oh, oh, oh, oh, my man human makes his own gas.”
     “Little buddy, you’re not making sense,” I said.
     “Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes I am.  I’ll explain it to you.  When the cost of gas goes up, my human gets mad and upset.  When my human gets mad and upset, he gets indigestion.  When he gets indigestion, his stomach produces gas.  When he produces gas, he farts constantly.  When he farts constantly, my woman human and the kids can’t eat  Those farts are real industrial grade, fumigation strength, sheet-rotters.  She no cooks much, so the man don’t eat either.  Everybody loses weight.”  Manny grinned.  “But…they smell just fine to me so I get more left-overs than usual plus my regular food.”
     “Sounds logical to me,” Lucy said.
     “Simple cause and effect,” Barbie conjectured.
     “Elementary, my dear Watson.”  I chuckled.  Humoring Manny is the best way to deal with him.
     Sarge rolled his eyes, shook his head, and walked away. 
     Manny thought hard for several seconds, then asked, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, Sandy…Is Watson your new boyfriend?”

www.dlhavlin-author.com

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