My human’s teaching … something useful.

May 3, 2016 at 12:24 pm | Posted in Books, Humor, publishing, Reading, seminars, Uncategorized, Writing | Leave a comment
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DL (the Geezer) teaching a seminar.

DL (the Geezer) teaching a seminar.

The Geezer is going to teach a seminar this Saturday on writing historical fiction.

Are you thinking about writing a historical novel? Let him share what he’s learned while writing Blue Water, Red Blood and The Cross on Cotton Creek – both traditionally published by Double Edge Press. The Florida Writers Association is sponsoring a Mini-Conference … “Day at the Bay” … on May 7th in Tampa. It will be held at the Clarion Inn, 9331 Adamo Drive, Tampa, FL  33619.

Visit his site at  www.dlhavlin.wordpress.com  and read his last two posts for more details .

The Florida Writers Association consistently provides excellent seminars and conferences. You can obtain more information on this event by calling 813.621.5555 or on the net by visitinghttps://floridawriters.net/conferences/mini-conferences/day-at-the-bay/ I hope you’ll join him May 7th in Tampa.

 

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One that I got to go to …… Book Festivals are fun.

March 16, 2016 at 9:13 am | Posted in Books, dogs, Humor, life, publishing, Reading, Writing | 1 Comment
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James Engram, organizer of the FGCU History Authors Day and the Charlotte County Family Book Festival with DL

James Abraham, organizer of the FGCU History Authors Day and the Port Charlotte Family Book Fair with DL

I enjoy going to book festivals, art and author events, and speaking appearances that the Geezer attends. It’s fun to meet the readers (and get petted by most of them) and watch the flood of people that pass by. This event, the Port Charlotte Family Book Fair, is one that is new, but will certainly will grow in the future. It has a beautiful setting in Bayshore Park located on Charlotte Harbor and most importantly it has great folks organizing and promoting it. In the picture above is the “father” of this event, James Abraham. May every community be fortunate to be blessed to have a man like James working to improve it. James has “invented” literary events before like the Dearborn Street Book Fair in Englewood, FL. He is a high character individual that wants to help the folks in his community. Nancy Staub handled the History Day program for Florida Gulf Coast University and did an outstanding job of administering the presentations. She had three excellent authors (obviously- The Geezer aka DL Havlin was there.), a fine facility, and a large attendance. Kudos to Nancy! I’m running behind with my blog posts and so is the Geezer. He’s been at the keyboard non-stop recently. He has three books in process, has entered two contests, is taking a class, and is preparing for teaching three. I have to fight to get my paws on the board. Until I can get back on the computer……………

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Hic … Hic … Hic …

February 27, 2016 at 11:08 am | Posted in Books, Cats, dogs, Humor, life, publishing, Reading, Uncategorized, Writing | 3 Comments
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A couple weeks ago Kate Colby’s (she’s a wonderful author) feline friend, Thomas and I exchanged posts. (I Recommend a visit to her webpage –  katecolby.com ) It was in regard to wine and book selection post from her site. You’ve read Thomas guest post here regarding what it’s like to be an author’s kitty. I asked the Geezer, to do the post for me for his wine selections, he said, “Sandy, I’m not a wine connoisseur. I’m more just a sewer. I’ll give connecting bourbon to books a try. I know more about them.” Here’s his list (and post) giving the book, author, booze, and bottler. Yep, they’re all real. Fact is, I’ve … Hic … tried … Hic, Hic … a few.PresentationBourbonBattle Cry – Leon Uris                                                                     Semper Fi Corn Whiskey – Ascendant Spirits

How could you not select this bourbon to sip while reading this tale about Marines in WWII. Hell, I can see High-Pockets holding an aluminum cupful in a fox hole.

 

Deliverance – James Dickey                                                        Midnight Moon Moonshine – Piedmont Distillers

Crank up Earl Scruggs’ recording of “Dueling Banjos,” pour the booze from the bottle into a clay jug, tip it up, and turn the pages of a book that ended more than one person’s desire to canoe and camp in the mountains.

 

The Help – Kathyrn Strockett                                                      Jack Daniels – Jack Daniel’s Distillery

Quality bourbon for a quality book. Besides, this is the brand bourbon I can see Skeeter drinking, sitting in a New York City apartment, wishing she was back in Mississippi.

 

The Girl in the Train – Paula Hawkins                                       Mattingly & Moore – Heaven Hill Distillery

Mattingly and Moore sounds like a London accounting house where this psychological thriller is set.  With all the twists, turns, complications, and betrayals a few doubles will keep you relaxed.

 

City of Thieves – Daniel Benioff                                                                 Old Grand-Dad – Jim Beam Distillery

This bourbon has been around a long time just like the protagonist chronicled in this tale of the misery that was the siege of Leningrad. It’s the fictionalized story of the author’s knife-fighting grand-dad. Three shots recommended, it has some tough emotional reading in it.

 

To Kill A Mocking Bird – Harper Lee                                          Rebel Yell – Heaven Hill Distillery

One of my favorite books and bourbons. How more appropriate than drinking a glass of Rebel Yell when listening for the fading echo of a sound that provided the framework for this great novel’s time and place.

 

A River Runs Through It – Norman Maclean                         Wild Turkey – Wild Turkey Distillery

Smooth to the point of perfection. The book or the bourbon? Both! If you’ve not read Norman Maclean’s writing, do it. He defines the art!

 

Gone With The Wind – Margret Mitchell                               Southern Comfort – Southern Comfort Company

Well shut my mouth and call me Rhett. Visualize Scarlet sitting on Tara’s front porch pourin’ and a pourin’ and a pourin’ till, well, this smooth tastin’ bourbon is a good medicine for a guilty conscience and a sleeping pill.

 

Tom Sawyer – Mark Twain                                                           Old Rip Van Winkle – Buffalo Trace Distillery

Like Twain’s prose this whiskey flows smoothly but has a kick you can’t ignore. Besides, I love the brand Name … it sounds so literary.

 

Scandalous Behavior – Stuart Woods                                      Fighting Cock – Heaven Hill Distillery

Ahhhhhh … the hero wants a peaceful rest in the English hinter lands. However, relations with the neighbors create a situation closer to converting him into this bourbon’s brand name. With neighbors like he has, a pint of the product in the morning and evening is recommended

 

Message in a Bottle, The Choice, etc. – Nicholas Sparks  Four Roses – Four Roses  Distillery

Nickolas Sparks! You read his books and they all have two things in common. Their similarities produce déjà vu. And you fall in love with each one of them. Drinking Four Roses is the same, you never quite get enough.

 

The Mermaids Chair – Sue Monk Kidd                                    Cougar – MGP Indiana /or/ Firefly Moonshine – Firefly                                                                                                                  Distillery

This family tale wound around a woman’s mid-life crisis and fling takes place on the Carolinas coast. That’s where Firefly Moonshine is made and I couldn’t resist mentioning Cougar Bourbon even though it’s only sold in Australia and New Zealand. Cougar is so appropriate to describe the books heroine.

Happy elbow bending or paw tipping.  Or …Hic … Whatever … Hic … Hic

 

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The Geezer’s back … Mrs. G’s pic … and I’m enjoying my sirloin

January 30, 2016 at 9:52 am | Posted in Books, dogs, Humor, life, publishing, Reading, Uncategorized, Writing | 6 Comments
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He’s back home after his cruise. That’s the Geezer. He must of had a very good time; the smile he’s wearing is extraordinarily wide. (His mouth corners contact his earlobes.) I’ve seen that once before … when he happened upon a famous female movie star skinny dipping on an isolated beach. That took two weeks to disappear. It means three things happened on the trip. First, he enjoyed the food. Second, Mrs. G had a good time (He doesn’t if she doesn’t). Third, his seminar must have been a smashing success!

I’ve had a lot of interest in what Mrs. G looks like. Why, I’ve been asked, is there never any pictures of her. Simple … she’s normally the one taking them. But, at last, I have a picture of her taken on the Enchantment of the Seas.

The Geezer and Mrs. G ... it's easy to see why he's always happy.

The Geezer and Mrs. G … it’s easy to see why he’s always happy.

I’m speaking to him again. He’s doing the appropriate amount of groveling, and I intend to keep under my paw as long as possible. I doubt he’ll leave me behind on one of his fun trips any time soon.

He’s getting ready for a busy February and March – he has speaking and book signings fifteen different places. It includes libraries and a university appearance. The old boy prepares hard for these. I’m sure he’ll grease up the gears grinding in that old mind of his. Check his calendar of events on his webpage at http://www.dlhavlin.com if you want to hear him, see him or throw things at him.

Oh yes, I’m enjoying my sirloin and I have two more weeks to go!

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Merry Christmas …… Now for some LAUGHS …..

December 18, 2015 at 11:55 am | Posted in Books, Christmas, Cooking, dogs, holidays, Humor, life, publishing, Reading, Uncategorized, Writing | 9 Comments
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I'm a raindeer - Did I fool anyone?

I’m a reindeer – Did I fool anyone? …… Maybe rain dear?

Well, the Geezer has done it again. He’s posted his laughter inducing classic, “Claus and the Consultant.” This thoroughly enjoyable read is posted on (linked for your convenience)  www.dlhavlin.wordpress.com   If the season is getting hectic, and you need to renew your positive attitude with some humor, DON’T MISS READING IT! And, PLEASE, share it with your friends. Everyone can use an attitude adjustment at the end of this year.

 

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If a human …

October 26, 2015 at 1:54 pm | Posted in Books, dogs, Humor, life, Media, publishing, Reading, Uncategorized, Writing | 4 Comments
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- A website dedicated to what this dog wants to say!

Don’t believe everything humans tell you!

 

Dogfucius says:

If a human tells you the moon is made of cheese, don’t argue, ask them to cut you a slice.

If a human tries to put stupid looking clothing on you, tell them, “No, not until I see you try it on first.”

If a human feeds you lots of table scraps including beans, broccoli, cauliflower, tacos, and radishes, get even with them by staying close and keeping your rear end pointed at them until your problem passes.

If a human tells you “this hurts me as much as you,” bite them and ask the same question.

If a human tells you you’re the smartest animal in the world, remember she or he is probably selling Brooklyn Bridges as a two for one special.

If a human politician promises you the canine right to vote, a chicken in every pot, sex with your favorite movie star, free phones, free medical care, free housing, 360 days on sunshine each year, and to execute all dog-catchers, remember she or he’s already promised everybody else something similar. (E.g. – Dog-catchers are promised all dogs will be executed) Quick! Bury them in the backyard before they do the same to you!

 

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Does this remind you of politicians’ offers?

October 12, 2015 at 3:33 pm | Posted in Books, Humor, Politics, publishing, TV, Writing | 3 Comments
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Anybody for lunch? Any body? Any body at all?

Anybody for lunch? Any body? Any body at all?

Goodness! It’s October 12, 2015! If I’ve calculated correctly, that’s 394 more days until the next presidential election. I don’t know if me and my humans will maintain our sanity if we have to be subjected to the insanity spewing from TV, Mags, Papers, and the I-net. Maybe it’s a new strategy: If the media bombards us with enough manure, we’ll lose interest and elect another loser of their choice. Have you seen some of the BS they’re putting out? Some of the best fantasy writers of our time are masquerading as journalists. I can’t help but think of the old cliche “Liar, liar, pants on fire,” when I hear these idiots scream at each other. They twist the truth like Superman makes pretzels out of steel bars. Election fatigue is here with a year to go.

When it gets here … Whoever gets elected … Please start by draining the great dismal swamp called Washington. My human says if we can get somebody, anybody, elected from outside corruption central, there’s a chance for the country to make it. As he points out, when the swamp dries, the bureaucrats and elected officials will be of some use. The skins from the rats and reptiles inhabiting the place now can be converted into something more usable like shoes, purses, fuzzy slippers, and fur-lined toilets.

The picture above is a reminder to be careful that when all those promising politicos tell you, “I’d like to invite you for lunch,” be sure you aren’t the main course.

 

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Dogfucius says: It’s better not to talk than to talk about nothing.

September 17, 2015 at 11:17 am | Posted in Books, Current events, dogs, Humor, life, Politics, publishing, Reading, TV, Writing | 2 Comments
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Chating with my sister before the Pine Island Canine Chowder and Ham Bone Marching Society meeting.

Talking trash and chating with my sister before the Pine Island Canine Chowder and Ham Bone Marching Society meeting.

There was a meeting of the Pine Island Canine Chowder and Ham Bone Marching Society this morning. Since there wasn’t much doggie business to discuss, we looked for other topics. We thought about discussing monkey business, but none of us knew any monkeys or what’s important to them, so we decided we shouldn’t discuss that. However, Sparkle, the Irish Setter, suggested that our lack of monkey expertise shouldn’t deter us from discussing simian issues. She said, “After all, look at human politicians. They talk about everything and know practically nothing.” Accepting that as a fact was the first unanimous show of paws I can remember at one of our meetings.

Peter the pointer pointed out that, “All you have to do is to look at the debate that was on TV last night. The thing you learned most was how all the humans didn’t like each other or this one human. That’s what they discussed, mostly. So … they really discussed nothing.” We snickered. Humans are a low life form.

The Pine Island Canine Chowder and Ham Bone Marching Society then discussed that there was nothing to discuss, and, rather than degrade ourselves to human levels, we adjourned the meeting.

 

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Doggie Daffynitions ——–

August 11, 2015 at 6:52 pm | Posted in Books, dogs, Humor, life, publishing, Reading, Uncategorized, Writing | 3 Comments
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Here I am, pointing the way to the next historical site. Note the royal pillow the Geezer provides for my head.

The way I see it…………….

Here are some of my doggie definitions … maybe I should call them daffynitions.

Intellectual – A person who occasionally knows more than most, but most of the time just pretend they do.

Restroom – A poorly named place that most human are in a hurry to get in, to get done, and to get out of — It should be called a Rushroom.

Legacy – Lies told to perpetuate the myth of an incompetent person’s competency.

Fidelity (definition #1) – State of mind said to exist in the minds of admirers of the former Cuban dictator. Often referred to by others as people who have been “fideled” or something starting with the same letter.

Fidelity (definition #2) – A monogamous, favorable, but difficult human condition to maintain … however, seemingly impossible in Hollywood.

Fidelity (definition #3) – An affliction of violinists who play country music.

Trade-in – A course of action taken by wealthy women and men who become bored with their cars and spouses.

 

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The past’s portrait of today’s problems … My human’s new book is almost here!

August 4, 2015 at 9:47 am | Posted in Books, Current events, dogs, life, publishing, Reading, Writing | 3 Comments
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The cover for the Geezer's (DL Havlin) new book BULLY ROUTE HOME---

The cover for the Geezer’s (DL Havlin) new book BULLY ROUTE HOME—

WOOF, WOOF, WOOFITY, WOOF! In humanese that’s Hooray, hooray, awesome hooray! The Geezer’s new book will be released in just ten more days. I put the cover in my blog so you could see what it looks like. The old boy is smiling these days. I am too. If he sells a lot of them, I get more treats!

Bully Route Home is being released at a time when the novel’s two main topics top the headlines. Those are bullying and race relations. The Geezer believes history is the best hope we have to avoid duplicating past human errors. Studying it … not rewriting it … are ways we can, at best, improve the human condition and, at worst, keep from rolling it backwards. Bully Route Home is a portrait of the past that help’s us understand today’s problems.

Though the old boy invests a lot of emotion in all of his books, this one is particularly close to his heart. The story is set in the era when he “grew up.” He believes it is important for people who didn’t live through it … to understand it. Today people speak about the past as though everyone lived their “evil” lives without regard for today’s values. It’s true. But then, it wasn’t today. People operated within society’s parameters. Many of those cultural rules were ill conceived, but no more than many of those today that will be scoffed at in the future. And, since he lived part of the story, you would expect that extra connection.

The Geezer laments the giant steps we are taking backwards in the realm of race relations and civility in general. He believes that people can hold vastly varying points of view, but maintain the understanding that others have a right to their viewpoint. Failure to do that is a danger to everyone’s freedom, to our nation, and to civilization itself.

Read the book.

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