Tag Archive | Media

I do … (A quiz — would you prefer to be a child again?)

"Do you ever wish you were a child again?"

“Do you ever wish you were a child again?”

There are days when I wish I could flip the calendar back to my care free youth. My worries were whether I got a comfortable spot to nurse at Momma’s dinner table, how long I should stay awake between naps, and if my brothers and sisters were told they were “the cutest puppy” more times than me. Ahhhhhh … Those were the days.

If you ever think you’d like to hop in a time machine and travel backwards, some of the following questions might help you decide.

Do you remember when there were no cell phones? No way to call for help if your car broke down versus no way for the boss to check on you or disturb your weekend. Which do you prefer?

Do you remember kick the can? Do you think that game was better for your kids than Pokemon?

Do you remember when fresh meat and vegetables were really fresh? Do you prefer picking veggies you raised in your organic garden to picking up preserved veggies in plastic wrap from a grocery counter?

Do you miss reading the morning newspaper or prefer watching TV news each AM?

Do you long for the day when “Clinton” was best known as a town in Tennessee and “Trump” was a term used when playing bridge?

You decide.

 

 

All points of view told here … now for a cat’s eye view.

"Confucius" Oreo!

“Confucius” Oreo!

All points of view should be heard! Unlike humans, we animals listen to all ideas.

With that in mind, this post features the feline point-of-view as expressed by my house mate, Oreo. My interview was a question and answer session. Some of his wisdom is expressed below.

Sandy Q. – What is your defense for those people who say cats are lazy?

Oreo A. – That’s completely unfounded. Our species just really enjoys doing nothing.

Sandy Q. – Do you believe that personality and attitude are impossible to divide?

Oreo A. – Ridiculous. My personality is who I am. My Attitude depends on many things: What food you put in my bowl, how many tummy rubs I get a day, if you have a broom in your hand, if you pet the dog more than me … I could go on.

Sandy Q. – Do you take responsibility for opinions you express?

Oreo A. – Absolutely. But … not for your lack of intelligence to understand them. Gee, maybe I should run for office.

Sandy Q. – How do you settle bitter arguments you have with others?

Oreo A. – Its a 4 step process. 1) I suggest a cooling off period. 2) I insist we stay silent and hold our breath for 20 minutes. 3) I cheat. 4) I call for a hearse.

Sandy Q. – Do you believe that we can read each others minds?

Oreo A. – No. If that were true I’d be slapped and punched much more often.

Sandy Q. – Are you in agreement that we carnivorous folks should change our eating habits because we kill living things?

Oreo A. – Hell no. Aren’t plants alive? Whats that leave? Rocks? Give me a break.

Sandy Q. – Do you doubt that humans are the mentally superior species on earth?

Oreo A. – Yes. Proof in one word answers. Bush. Clinton. Obama. Ryan. Pelosi. Romney. Want more?

Sandy Q. – Do you have a suggestion to create more world peace?

Oreo A. – Just as we animals are subject to … forced neutering. Less humans, more peace.

 

So speaketh the feline sage.

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21st Century Torture … Political Conventions

 

Enough already. I'm weary of politics. Won't somebody flush?

Enough already. I’m weary of politics. Won’t somebody flush?

 

Water Boarding? Child’s play. The Rack? A stretching experience. Iron Maiden? Pin cushion in a case. Glowing hot pokers? Localized sun tans. All these tortures pale when compared to being exposed to the political conventions my human has on the tube.

I’ve compiled some of my thoughts after listening to the verbal vomit for the last two weeks.

  1. I wonder if many of the commentators prefer not to think before speaking because they like to be surprised by what their tongue produces.
  2. Humans are great examples of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Homo sapiens must have evolved from lemmings – they’re dumb enough to follow their leaders off of cliffs.
  3. Many convention speakers have the attitude that, “I could explain things to you, but I doubt you’d understand since you’re not elite like me.”
  4. Watching the protesters outside the conventions it’s plain these folk’s weren’t born with that little thing inside human brain’s that keeps them from saying or doing something they shouldn’t.
  5. As a canine, I have developed my understanding for normal human behavior to an acceptable level. It’s my tolerance for idiots that must be improved.
  6. Listening to many speakers, protesters, and commentators at these events you have to wonder if they use toilet paper with printed instructions on every sheet.
  7. Hey protesters: When is “old enough to know better” supposed to kick in?
  8. I couldn’t help wondering if all the human mental asylum’s in the nation had be shut and their inhabitants shipped to Philly and Cleveland.
  9. Let me get this straight humans – You humans lecture us on how love is the universal answer then follow that with how much you hate and despise the other 50% in the country. I’ve seen two rival wolf packs fighting over a kill that have more understanding of the other group.
  10. These events verify the saying, “When you’re stupid, you don’t know you’re stupid – It’s only difficult for others!”

November can’t come quick enough.

 

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How do you like it?

 

Sorry Trooper

My buddy Trooper says he loves it! I hope you do too!

Notice anything different? After many posts and years, I started this blog in June of 2008, I’ve given it a face lift. Well … kind of … Mrs. G gave me a major assist. She says the heading is more in keeping with my temperament, gender, and … well it’s just me.

What do you think?

 

Pardon my fart … or … Shall we recycle one more thing?

Geezer & I share a Christmas kiss

No, your breath isn’t that bad.

 

“Sorry, Sandy.”  The Geezer Gator waved his hand in front of his nose.  “I shouldn’t eat broccoli and baked beans at the same meal.”

I was glad we were sitting on the dock and there was a gentle breeze to dissipate the hovering flatulence.  “Geezer, that was really bad.  I’m glad you don’t smoke.  Lighting a match right now would cause an explosion.  That was a real high octane release.”

“It was a sheet rotter.  I hope it doesn’t turn that beautiful golden coat of yours green,” the Geezer looked at me and grinned.  “You know, maybe you should contact that T. Boone Pickens fellow and give him an idea for another source of natural gas.”

It took a few seconds for his words to register, my mind being slowed by the cloud of methane encircling us.  “Oh, you mean the guy that used to run TV advertisements for windmills and natural gas? That’s years ago.”

“Uh-huh, that’s T. Boone Pickens.”

“You thinking of renting out your digestive system? How much broccoli and baked beans can you consume?” I jested.  “Seems you might wear out parts of yourself pretty fast.”

The Geezer laughed.  “Hey, no single sourcing.  Think about the possibilities.  There’s so much gas being released by cows alone, a TV program I saw says it’s polluting the atmosphere more than automobiles, if I remember, correctly.”

I went along with the flow, “Yep, a completely renewable source of energy.  Just collect it and burn it.  All our energy problems are about to be solved!”

“Who’d of thought that something as simple as the common fart would save mankind.”  The breeze blew the last of the “rotten eggs” smell away.

“Now all we have to do is to collect them, Geezer.”

“That’s the beautiful part of your idea, Sandy.”  The Geezer’s mind was churning.  I could hear the old rusty gears squealing and clashing as they neared full speed.  “Think about all the satellite industries and disciplines that your idea will spawn.  They may end up naming some kind of economic event after you.  I can see it now – The Sandy Cycle.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, just think of it.”  The Gator held his fingers up and tugged at one.  “We’ll need to manufacture fart collectors.  Lots of them.  Think of the jobs that will create.  And fart strainers, that’s a must.  We’ll need a fart acquisition and distribution system, one that allows us to determine the octane rating so it can be sold like gasoline is now.”  The old boy tried to keep a straight face.  “Whole industries will be born.”

“Who’s going to develop all this?”  I prompted him, though I’m sure he didn’t need it.

He tugged at his second finger.  “No problem.  A new field of science will develop, Fartology!  Our leading universities will soon be turning out fartologists that study all facets of the discipline.  They’ll study fart formation, composition, conservation, utilization, everything.  I can see Harvard and Yale bragging about their graduates like they do Bush, Obama, and Clinton.

I nodded, “That sure is true.  Probably will spike deodorizer sales.  I’ll look into buying anti-stink stock, if there’s a stock market left after the next election.”

“Speaking about elections and government, think of all the agencies it will create.”  The Geezer tugged at a third finger.  “There will be the Department of Farts and Feces.  There will be groups studying foods best suited for fart formation, the toxic effect of farts on the Amazon rain forest, and, of course, quality inspectors from FDA.  Think of the graft and corruption potential.  The politicians will love it.  We’ll find out how long a fart can stay on a treadmill. Even the IRS will get their nose into the business as they sniff around for those villainous -“fart syphoners.”

“Interesting.  Who would be appointed to run the Department of Farts?” I asked.

“Sandy, it will take highly qualified individuals to run such a branch. How about selecting candidates from the nightly news?

“Agreed!” I shouted.  “I can’t think of people that are more full of it.

 

PS- this is an old post I revised & recycled- I thought some comic relief was in order.

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Sometimes humans do horrible things – And Nero fiddles …

Sometimes humans do good things -

At times humans do good things – Sometimes they’re plain horrible!

 

Unless you are deaf, dumb or blind, you can’t be ignorant of the events of the last 48 hours. Humanities scum, filth, garbage … showed its depravity in Orlando. Unfortunately, the human who perpetrated this event will get the headlines. Sharing those headlines will be pundits and politicos who ask everyone to “be as one.” Aaaaaa … humans, let me enlighten you … you’re already divided. If you don’t make changes, severe ones, World War Three is in the wings. You cannot allow the type evil that is evolving in all areas of the world to grow and prosper. I’d prefer not to have to scavenge your bodies to survive.

I don’t like to talk politics so I won’t say more than this. You humans need change. In thinking. In policy. In honesty. In functionality. Most of all, in leadership. That’s at all levels, in all organizations. Government and the news media should be first, followed closely by what you humans humorously call collegiate education. Barking won’t get it. The only way a mouth saves is CPR. We have had way to much mouth – in fact, fifteen years of it is enough.

 

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Does it make you sick, too?

Sometimes I want to go hide from the humans and their animosities.

Sometimes I want to go hide from the humans and their animosities.

 

Does it make you sick? It sure makes me want to puke. Humans are becoming more despicable every day. I’ve always enjoyed riding in the car, but now even more! There is NO TV, and the Geezer refuses to have the radio turned on. Why is that good: I’m not tortured by the hostility and violence that is constantly present on the media and masquerades as humanity. I’m tired of people screaming at each other. I’m tired of every TV and movie drama and sitcom having violence or political propaganda at its center. I’m tired of people professing knowledge of things they know nothing about. I’m really tired of folks who dislike others and can’t explain why. (Other than someone else told them they should.) I’m tired of division, division, division, particularly those who accuse others of dividing then do it themselves. I sick of people carrying “stop hate” signs rioting, destroying other peoples property, and trying to injure those who think differently from them. (They are the bottom of the human trash heap. It has to be their way or the violent way.)

Let me share some canine common sense with you humans. I’ll put in bold, colored font so it’s easy to read.

HEY HUMANS:  START EMPHASIZING THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN COMMON AND DE-EMPHASIZING  YOUR DIFFERENCES – – – –

IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE!

Sometimes a dog has to say what a dog has to say! I’m usually a glass half full, try to write neutral, kind of canine, but I’m really getting to abhor politics and particularly all the political groups stirring up trouble. Pass this along if you agree.

 

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