Tags: Books, Current events, dogs, Election, fiction, Humor, life, Media, publishing, Reading, Writing
There was a meeting of the Pine Island Canine Chowder and Ham Bone Marching Society this morning. Since there wasn’t much doggie business to discuss, we looked for other topics. We thought about discussing monkey business, but none of us knew any monkeys or what’s important to them, so we decided we shouldn’t discuss that. However, Sparkle, the Irish Setter, suggested that our lack of monkey expertise shouldn’t deter us from discussing simian issues. She said, “After all, look at human politicians. They talk about everything and know practically nothing.” Accepting that as a fact was the first unanimous show of paws I can remember at one of our meetings.
Peter the pointer pointed out that, “All you have to do is to look at the debate that was on TV last night. The thing you learned most was how all the humans didn’t like each other or this one human. That’s what they discussed, mostly. So … they really discussed nothing.” We snickered. Humans are a low life form.
The Pine Island Canine Chowder and Ham Bone Marching Society then discussed that there was nothing to discuss, and, rather than degrade ourselves to human levels, we adjourned the meeting.
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Tags: birding, Birds, Books, dogs, family, Humor, life, nature, publishing, Reading, wildlife, Writing
Waiting! Waiting! Waiting! I wonder how much time I spend doing that. I wait for my humans to feed me. I wait for them to walk me. I wait on the armadillo to come out of his hole so we can play. I wait on the Geezer to get my pull-toy so we can play tug-of-war. I wait for Mrs. G to stop petting Oreo so I can monopolize her attention. It seems like most of my life is spent in the sheer boredom of waiting.
Normally, I’d say humans have little understanding of the suffering we canines endure, but in this instance … this one instance … the Geezer understands. Right now he’s waiting. Waiting on his new book Bully Route Home to get into the stores. Waiting for the change his publisher is making in distributors to settle out. Waiting for response from agents on two of his manuscripts. Waiting for final publishing editorial approval on another. Waiting! Waiting! Waiting!
I pass my waiting time on a carefully planned and regimented schedule. Seventy-two percent is spent sleeping on one of my two large pillows. Another 12% is spent wimpering at my humans feet. It makes them feel guilty … the result … I get treats. Ten percent goes to my exercise program. That consists of rolling on my back, stretching when I get out of bed, and scratching imaginary fleas (don’t have any, but one must keep their techniques sharp). The rest is used to do what a girl’s got to do.
The Geezer simply spends his waiting time writing … and writing … and writing. Which, you already guessed, creates more waiting time. Humans, they learn slow or not at all.
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Tags: Books, dogs, editors, family, fiction, funny stories, Humor, life, publishing, Reading, Writing
Here are some of my doggie definitions … maybe I should call them daffynitions.
Intellectual – A person who occasionally knows more than most, but most of the time just pretend they do.
Restroom – A poorly named place that most human are in a hurry to get in, to get done, and to get out of — It should be called a Rushroom.
Legacy – Lies told to perpetuate the myth of an incompetent person’s competency.
Fidelity (definition #1) – State of mind said to exist in the minds of admirers of the former Cuban dictator. Often referred to by others as people who have been “fideled” or something starting with the same letter.
Fidelity (definition #2) – A monogamous, favorable, but difficult human condition to maintain … however, seemingly impossible in Hollywood.
Fidelity (definition #3) – An affliction of violinists who play country music.
Trade-in – A course of action taken by wealthy women and men who become bored with their cars and spouses.
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Tags: Books, dogs, Entertainment, Humor, life, Media, News, publishing, Reading, Writing
I have been subjected to cruel and unusual punishment! The Geezer has gone to far this time. My humans have company so the doors that are normally open to the bedrooms … are closed. The circular staircases to the upstairs make me dizzy so escape by going up is impossible. Escape you say? Escape from what? Torture! I’ve been relegated to staying in the living room and subjected to mistreatment by television. Aaaahhhhh!! I can’t get away from it. Humans have to be in the lowest intelligence percentile of all life forms on planet Earth; they actually enjoy watching TV. The people staying with the Geezer and Mrs. G are addicted to the tube. If it isn’t turned on, they’re turned off.
TV is just plain pathetic. Several weeks ago I talked about the advertisements that appear between what is supposed to be entertainment, or news, all of which should be placed in the visual trashcan. Remember my comments on the six is greater than one revelation? That rates a Gomer Pyle reaction: Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! There are ads that bring into question if the human species actually has a brain. I have my doubts. There isn’t any doubt about the Madison Avenue humans that dream up these brain farts.
Have you seen the one about the free range chicken? That rascal gets around. From the barnyard to hopping freight cars, everyone in the ad extols the chicken’s masculine free spirit. They even talk about how “he” keeps sending pictures back to the home folks. The problem – the super hero chicken they filmed isn’t a rooster, she’s a hen. Evidently, those smart folks in Manhattan don’t realize there are sexual differences in chickens that the public can discern. Maybe they were taught by that MIT professor that believes American humans are really dumb. Maybe the professor was right.
Then there are the ads for new films. I’ll describe one. There’s a dark background, men with guns are shooting each other, there are several huge explosions, some woman is shown taking her top off, one of the characters delivers inciting, complex dialogue, “Get down!” (which exhausts the actor’s vocabulary), a decaying corpse comes to life in a zombie state, and finally there’s the absolutely, positively, indispensable speeding vehicle that does a triple flip in the pike position. I said one ad, but that covers 80% of film trailers.
How about the birdies looking for a new home. That’s the one where a flock heads one way, lands at a place where the phones “buffer,” their little bird brains get upset, the birds do a reverse course, and an announcer proudly proclaims these birds returned for three hundred bucks and getting their old phone network back. What he doesn’t tell you is there was no food where they landed. None. Nada. Zilch. Geese aren’t that dumb. They’d be looking for a corn field or rice paddy. They put down on flat barren tundra. Mama goose didn’t raise a dumb gaggle. They needed the $300 to go to McDonald’s. Oh yes, the announcer keeps saying “birds.” Evidently he things a goose is something you do with your thumb.
The Geezer is showing me some compassion, however. He’s promised to take me outside, turn on the hose and drench me. I sure can use it. The people upstairs have been watching news shows all day with a continuous mud slide of politics spewing from the screen. It makes one feel dirty, filthy, like one has been dipped into a two hundred year old outhouse. A bath, a bath, my country for a bath. I guess I’ll forgive him if he throws in a hamburger for supper tonight.
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Tags: Books, conservation, Current events, dogs, economy, family, Humor, life, nature, publishing, Reading, Writing
The Florida summer is in full force. Thunder storms are a daily threat. A lot of my friends, human and canine, hate this time of year. My buddy, Trooper, gets so upset he goes into panic mode. Even his “thunder vest” only reduces his terror. The humans that belong to Trooper do their best to comfort him. They even leave the TV on when they leave him at home so in case it storms the sound will comfort him.
I understand the need for all the rain. Without rain, it wouldn’t be long before I’d run out of grass to do business on. Since I live indoors 90% of the time, the rain doesn’t impact my days as much as many of my buddies who normally spend at least half of their time outside. They get “Dog-house fever” and become grumpy, lethargic, and depressed. The thing that bothers me most is that the Geezer doesn’t take the boat out in this weather. I love riding in the boat’s bow even more than riding in the car. The salt air and wind whipping around my body feels SO good. Makes me feel like Kate Winslet, though the Geezer’s craft is a wee bit smaller than the Titanic. Then there’s all the smells, birds to watch, porpoise to bark at, and fish fillets that the Geezer cooks for me after we return. I get the jacks, bluefish and other species the Geezer’s missus doesn’t care for.
I know. When it doesn’t rain, it creates a lot of problems for humans. They moan and complain, but don’t do much about it. The humans in California are desperate for water. They pass laws. I wonder how much rain those laws produce? I haven’t heard of any yet. That’s not completely fair, conserving is a good thing. If they’d use a little old-fashioned dog-sense they could solve several problems at one time. Why don’t humans collect all the excess water that accumulates in one area and move it to another? There are huge floods that people don’t want. Why not build huge reservoirs, let flood waters accumulate there and pipe it to areas that need it? I mentioned this to the Geezer and he said he wasn’t sure it would be “cost effective.”
Hmmmm, besides being able to charge for the water, I asked him about the cost savings from mitigating the flood damage, the fact that electricity could be generated, the fact the lakes created would act as tourist attractions. Pipes and pumps. Why not? They do it with oil and it requires a lot more cost and effort to get out of the ground. After all, aren’t those same people spending money to accommodate additional people when they don’t have enough water for those folks living there already? He grinned. The poor Geezer. He suffers from that universal human failing – lack of vision.
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Tags: birding, Birds, Books, dogs, family, fiction, life, nature, publishing, Reading, wildlife, Writing
How quickly they grow! Above is one of the babies that appeared in a video clip in one of my posts a few weeks ago. The young night heron is looking for small wharf crabs that scurry around our seawall. The mangroves across the canal are alive with heron families in all stages of the rearing process. Below, bro or sis stands on our dock and looks at the squalling aviary buried in greenery.
Many hatchlings are still in the nest. The one pictured below looks bored and ready to start life. The dangers that lurk are waiting for him, but at this point he isn’t aware of things like raccoons, coyotes, falcons, etc.
If you didn’t see the film clip of the mother feeding these babies, look back in my posts several weeks. It’s worth taking the time to view. It was published 5/29, that’s four posts ago.
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Tags: Agents, Books, Charleston, Current events, dogs, History, Humor, life, News, Politics, publishing, Reading, Writing
“The victims’ families in the Charleston killings teach us what WE THE PEOPLE is about.”
Once in a while a blind squirrel finds an acorn. And … once in a while my human comes up with a good philosophical observation. We’ve just returned from a multi-purpose trip to the Carolinas: to see my human’s grandson graduate from high school and to do research on a book the Geezer is writing. By happen-stance my humans and I were in the Kings Mountain National Military Park and in nearby Shelby NC the day before the racist lunatic that committed the unspeakable atrocities in Charleston was caught. We traveled the same road he was spotted on by the observant and brave lady that lead to his capture.
The research portion of the trip was enlightening both from the point-of-view of providing volumes of material for my human’s novel and as a tool to understand why we continue to suffer from mistakes we repeat … and repeat … and repeat. However, I want to tell you, my human friends, what the event that happened in South Carolina should teach you. I’ll save the exciting historical information for future posts.
“We can learn a great deal from the events that transpired in the last ten days. However, by far, the most important of those is that the greatness of a country is measured by the strength of character of its citizenry, not its government and certainly not its elites and politicians.” That’s a quote directly from my human. I believe it’s true.
If there ever was an example of this statement’s truth it’s in the actions of the Charleston victims’ families. They are what this country is about. If anyone had the right to rage, to recriminations, it would be them. What we saw was the understanding that we are one people, that those who choose to try to divide us are our enemies. The son of one of the victims spoke and as I listened, I was inspired. Why aren’t these the people who lead our country? I couldn’t help but compare the self-sacrificing language of someone who was suffering so severely to the self-serving rhetoric coming out of Washington.
The strength of the United States of America is in the character of its people. That’s you … me … and those valiant Charleston families that have sacrificed so much. We must constantly strive to fortify that strength. It is up to each individual acting in a free and responsible way to insure that our country retains its promise. Not the elites whose primary objective is power. Not the mindless automaton that is government. Certainly not the passage of a law. I remind you that slavery once was THE law.
This post is dedicated to the AMERICANS who died in the process of strengthening their character and their magnificent families. If we could only place them in the White House and Congress and remove what is there now, how much improved our country would be.
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Tags: Agents, Birds, Books, dogs, Florida, History, Humor, life, nature, publishing, Reading, Writing
Many of us accept the places we are born and live in as an anchor. A place to begin and end. A place to return to. Home. There is an implied sense of permanence to the word. We simply can’t vision a community or a house simply vanishing.
It happens. The story of Newnansville is one that illustrates how transient human endeavors can be. Newnansville once was one of the largest cities in Florida. Today, finding any of its “bones” is a project. The sign pictured above commemorates where it was. A building or two that their owners claim stood when the town thrived and a cemetery are pretty much what mark the corpse’s location. The site is near the current city of Gainesville.
The city was named after a prominent figure who fought in the “Patriot’s War.” That war is one of those bodies buried by national pride and the obscurity of the area’s history. The Patriot’s War was an attempt to seize Florida from Spain during the early 1800’s for the fledgling United States. Supposedly a settler’s attempt to throw off Spanish rule, it was a thinly disguised American exploit. It failed, partly because of the poorly organized clandestine effort the US made, partly because the Tories who had been expelled from the colonies during the Revolutionary War sided with the Spanish, and partly because it paralleled the War of 1812 that found the US scurrying to survive. Daniel Newnan took a hero’s part in the ill-fated attempt made to conquer St. Augustine.
Andrew Jackson then demonstrated to the Spanish it was time to leave. He announced his intention to make war on the Seminole’s and other tribes in the region. His edict to the Spanish Governor in essence stated “stay out of my way or I’ll make you eat dirt.” The Spanish weren’t that enamored with Florida and ceded its territory to the United States in 1821.
The war ended badly for the Native Americans. The Seminoles resisted relocation and resorted to moving further south while fighting with the settlers over lands seized by them.
In 1824 the five building community sited in the Indian territory’s original name was “Dell’s Post Office.” When Newnan settled there the town renamed itself, “Newnansville.” The government built a road that stretched from St. Augustine to Tallahassee. The Bellamy Road was the main connection between East and West Florida. Newnansville became the major station along its length. Fort Gilleland was built nearby to protect the road, the town and the steadily increasing number of white settlers homesteading the area.
Justifiably alarmed by the continuing incursions of the settlers, the Seminoles were pushed to the point that war broke out in 1835 when Colonel Dade and a hundred men were ambushed and killed in the area. During this period of time (1835-1842) Newnansville became the largest settlement in the area exceeding 1000 people. When the war ended, the city retained its prominence until the railway decided not to lay rails through the community. Instead the railway went to Alachua a few miles away. With it went commerce, with commerce went people … Newnansville literally was abandoned over the succeeding decades.
Today the most prominent reminders of the town’s existence are the sign and some old grave stoves, like the one below. People things, aren’t permanent things, as much as humans like to believe they are.
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Tags: Agents, birding, Birds, Books, dogs, family, Florida, History, life, nature, publishing, Reading, wildlife, Writing
The old saying “A picture is worth a thousand words,” is one with which my human disagrees. He says a good writer should never use that many words to describe anything. Sigh. He’s wrong. Remember he’s human. Those who visit me regularly know we have a growing rookery behind our house. If you like nature, birds, etc., don’t miss viewing the clip below. The film clip and pictures show something my humans (and me) were privileged to observe. Its of a mom night heron feeding her young. The photos are of neighboring young herons that hatched several weeks earlier. I’ll let the clip and the photos do most of the woofing, sorry humans that’s talking in your lingo. Tell your friends to have a look.
The clip is of the parent feeding the babies regurgitated crabs. The fact that Mrs. G was able to get a clip of such a rare sight as the feeding was great, but unfortunately there was an even better shot that was missed. Humans don’t walk around with cameras ALL the time. That would have been the film of the night heron parents collaborating with one of the green herons who also nest in the mangroves across the canal. The three birds caught and drove off a four foot long black snake that tried to rob their nest. It was a once in a lifetime sight!
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